Meeting the parents might not be the big to-do that it used to be, since the world is just a bit more casual and independent, but it’s still a pretty significant step, if your partner is close with their family.

OP is dating someone outside of his culture seriously. He says things have been going great, that he hopes their relationship will last long term, and that her parents requested to meet him since things were looking more and more serious.

I (28m) have been dating my girlfriend (23f) for a few months. Things have gone well; we get along well so far and I really care about her and hope things work out with us.

Anyway she recently invited me to come over and have dinner with her parents at their home. She still lives with them for now. We are getting more serious and they wanted to meet me. If it’s relevant her parents are Indian immigrants to the US and I am white.

He showed up in jeans and an Iron Maiden t-shirt because he “didn’t even think about it” and that shirt “was clean.”

So, I thought it was a completely casual meeting and I wore an Iron Maiden T-shirt. I do happen to like the band but that’s not even why I wore it; that’s just how I dress and that shirt just happened to be clean that day. I went and met her parents and thought we’d had a good meeting.

No one said anything during the meeting but afterward, his girlfriend was upset with him over his choice, saying that he should have known that meeting her parents would require at least a button-down with his jeans.

However my girlfriend is NOT happy with me. She feels as if me dressing in a T-Shirt rather than a nicer button-up shirt was bad enough, but that wearing a shirt with skulls on it was–in her words–“just obnoxious.”

I honestly just dressed for the meeting the way I usually do and didn’t even think about it. I think that if she had certain standards that she should have communicated them to me beforehand. But she thinks that what I did was “obviously stupid and inappropriate” and that I should have known better. Is she right or is she being too critical?

He doesn’t think this is an unwritten rule or that it’s a big deal, but he’s asking Reddit if he’s missing anything.

You know they’re only too happy to help.

The top comment says that most adult people would realize the occasion would call for something not-casual.

And this person says his “not thinking” was all they needed to hear – because he should be thinking.

This person for sure agrees.

They say he’s definitely old enough to know better.

This comment, and others, seem to believe it’s about simple respect.

This seems silly on the surface, but I mean…she has a point.

If he doesn’t think this is a big deal, what is a big deal, you know?