I feel like we’ve seen a few posts like this, where parents expect free babysitting in exchange for one favor or another, but without clearing that expectation with the babysitter in question first.

Most of the time this definitely doesn’t go in favor of the parents who just assumed, but other times, like with this post, they might have a point.

OP has taken in her sister, who is in college, because she was having roommate trouble and needed to move out quickly. They live in a different state from their parents, so she had nowhere else to do.

The sister doesn’t pay any rent or anything like that, though she does contribute some to food and groceries.

I (f30) live with my husband (m31) ans our son (m5), my sister (f22) is still in college and has to move out with us three months ago because she had some issues with her roommates. Things were going fine until this argument, also she doesn’t work but my parents send her some money for textbooks and groceries although she barely ever has contributed to the household since she moved in with us.

We also live in a different state from our parents and family so I’m basically throwing her in the streets by kicking her out which would make me a big asshole.

Recently, OP and her husband ran into a babysitting snag with their 5yo. Their regular sitter had some health issues and needed to quit on short notice, which left the couple high and dry during the few hours between school and when they finished work.

So, my son comes back from school at around 3pm/3:30. My husband works until 6 and I work until 5 although sometimes I have to stay an hour or two extra (this is not normal, maybe three or four times per month when we’re behind in a project). We had a babysitter that would wait until he’s back (he comes back home via the school bus) and would stay with him until me or my husband come back from work. However she recently discovered she’s sick and told us that she can’t continue working as she has to go though treatment, we thanked her for telling us and wished she would get better soon.

I asked my sister to babysit our son until we can get a new babysitter giving that she doesn’t have classes at that time.

The sister refused, saying if she would have known that was part of the deal she would have found somewhere else to live in the first place.

She told me she never agreed to babysit when she moved in here and that I should’ve told her beforehand so she could find somewhere else to live. I told her that I knew this wasn’t out agreement but this was something exceptional since our babysitter has medical issues, it’s not neither of our fault and she would prefer a 100 times to not be in this situation.

She still told me she can’t babysit because sometimes she has to go to the library or to study with friends and babysitting would limit her hours of studying.

So, OP got mad and basically said fine, find somewhere else to live then if you want to be selfish about it.

I got angry, maybe too angry, so I told her that we never ask anything from her, we helped her because we wanted to be kind with her, and yet she can’t even compromise to stay a few hours home just until we find a new babysitter. I ended up telling her she has a week to leave because we will not be providing food or a roof to a b*%ch like her.

One of my son’s friend’s mom is taking care of my son now, they go back to her home together and I pick him up later.

Now OP is wondering if she went too far, because some of her family is saying that she did just that.

My sister tried to apologize but I told her I don’t want to live with her because she showed me her true colors. She also have told our family and a lot of them are giving me s*%t for leaving my sister homeless.

My husband, my in laws and friends support me but it feels hash if my family isn’t on my side, makes me think I’m an a$$hole to be honest.

What does Reddit think? I’m curious, because this one is tricky!

The top comment says that because this was due to an emergency and not an every day expectation, the sister should have lent a hand.

And this person replied saying most people would definitely help out a family member in this situation.

Also, it’s a couple of hours a day, this person points out.

This comment, and many others, thought that the sister was definitely being selfish.

The sister kind of made her own bed here, according to this commenter.

Of course neither of them owes the other anything, but this is family we’re talking about, right?

I want to believe that most people would just help out.