Your Sibling’s Friend Bosses Your Kid Around In You Own Home. What Do You Do?
by Trisha Leigh
It’s pretty normal for parents to feel protective of their children. When it comes to criticizing or pointing out their faults, it tends to be one of those “fine if I do it, but don’t you dare” situations.
OP had guests over, some they knew well (like a sister) and some they did not, including a friend of the sister who OP had only met a handful of times.
My sister, cousin and a couple friends came over last night after work. My sister brought a friend of hers I’d only met a few times that I’ve never had an issue with.
At some point during the evening OP went to the bathroom and came back out to find the women – basically a stranger – confronting her son in the kitchen.
At one point I went to the bathroom, and the ladies were in the living room, calmly enjoying wine. When I came out, my sister’s friend was in the kitchen, arguing with my son.
OP asked what was going on, and the friend replied they saw the kid going to get food and told him he needed to wait and ask permission first.
I asked her what she was doing.
She said my son went into the kitchen to get food, and she told him to wait until I came out of the bathroom to ask me for permission.
OP blew up, asking who the woman thought she was and why she felt it was ok to say anything to a kid she didn’t know.
I stared at her for a second and then said “who the f**k are you? You don’t live here. He does. Who are you to tell him he can’t go in his own kitchen?”
They went back and forth for awhile, with the woman trying to justify her actions and OP insisting her son had far more rights to be where he wanted and do what he wanted in the home than a stranger.
She looked surprised and said she was trying to be helpful. I repeated my question of why she thought it was okay to tell someone they can’t use their own kitchen when she’s a guest in someone else’s house. She dodged the question and then brought up that she’s a teacher, which isn’t even relevant, and sometimes kids try to get around rules. I asked her what that has to do with anything. I then asked who even gave her permission to go in my kitchen.
She said she followed my son in. I said “so you think my son needs permission to go in his own kitchen, but you can go wherever you like in my house without invitation? So you have more rights here than he does?”
The woman left, and by the end of the night, everyone but OP’s sister had agreed she had been way out of line (and weird besides).
She said she didn’t feel welcome anymore and was leaving. She went back in the living room, grabbed her bag and walked out.
My sister asked what happened, and I explained that she had a disagreement with my son. My cousin and some of the other ladies said they thought it was strange she followed him into the kitchen and had been wondering why she did that, and thought her motive was weird as hell.
My sister and a couple other ladies said her behavior was perfectly normal and I was unnecessarily hostile to her. My cousin said “but why would you confront a child you don’t know instead of saying something to the aunt who’s right here? That’s so weird.”
Everyone but my sister acknowledged that part was weird, and we all moved on.
OP’s sister is angry, though, so they’re wondering whether they should have dialed it back a bit.
Later, my sister confronted me privately and said she was upset I “chased off” her friend. She said she really likes this woman, and that I was way over the top in the way I spoke to her.
I can be a little extra when it comes to defending my kid, so was I an a$$hole?
Does Reddit have thoughts on this sister standoff? You know they do!
The top comment says OP’s sister does not have a leg to stand on here.
This person agrees the woman’s behavior was slightly bizarre.
This commenter has a memory of a similar moment, and wishes their mom had been more like OP.
This person is definitely uncomfortable with all of it.
Maybe the sister needs to reconsider who she spends time with.
Bottom line? Don’t correct children who aren’t yours.
Unless someone is in danger, it’s way out of your lane.