It’s no secret that life can be hard sometimes, and also that it’s very often not fair – even to kids, who have done nothing to deserve getting the short end of the stick.

OP never knew her father, a choice she was told he made when he found out her mother was pregnant.

In the years since she has gained 3 step-siblings and 4 half-siblings, and life hasn’t been kind to the big family as far as money or closeness.

My (15F) mom always told me that my dad left as soon as he found out that my mom was pregnant. When I was two, my mom married a man who has three kids (currently 21M, 19M, and 17F). My stepdad was the only father figure I ever knew and when I was younger I wanted him to be my dad. But he never accepted me. I also have four half siblings (12F, 9F, 9M, and 7M).

My stepsister is definitely the favorite out of us older kids. It often seems like my stepdad only cares about her and the younger ones. My mom and stepdad don’t have a lot of money so it’s pretty cramped.

I have to share a room with my half-sisters. I always have to wear my stepsister’s hand me downs and we live in a shitty neighborhood so I go to a shitty school. Sometimes we don’t even have enough food.

Recently, a woman reached out to her online to say she thinks she’s married to her dad. OP learned that her father had wanted to be in her life but had been left in the dust by her mother, who claimed she didn’t want a commitment.

About a year ago, a woman contacted me on Instagram and told me that she thinks I might be her husband’s daughter because he was dating my mom a few months before I was born.

She told me that my mom ghosted my dad shortly after she got pregnant and moved to a different state. He tried to find her but he couldn’t.

I didn’t believe her at first but after she sent me a picture of my mom and her husband I decided to ask my mom. She confessed and told me that she left my dad because she didn’t want to commit to a relationship.

Long story short, OP’s father wanted to have her come and live with him. Not only does OP want to see about forming a relationship with him, but she knows that he’s in a better financial situation and things will be easier for her there.

I continued talking to my dad and stepmom and they decided to come visit me. After I told him what it’s like at home he told me that he would fight for custody and the court would probably listen to me if I said I wanted to live with him.

I wasn’t sure at the time because I didn’t want to just abandon my mother. I told him I would think about it and let him know.

After thinking about it I decided that I’d rather live with him. My stepmom always wanted kids but she’s infertile and she already loves me a lot even though we’ve only met a few times.

They also have lot more money than my mom so I could have my own room and new clothes and I could go to a much better school. I know my reasons are really selfish but I would have a much better life with him.

Her mother and siblings are upset, and OP is feeling guilty.

After I told him, he went to court and got primary custody of me. My mom’s been giving me the silent treatment ever since but yesterday when I was packing she yelled at me and called me selfish for abandoning her and my little siblings as soon as my dad showed up and said that if my dad loved me so much he should have tried to find me earlier.

I think she’s the selfish one. She kept me away from my dad for the first 14 years of my life. Honestly, I think she’s just mad because she won’t have anyone to watch her kids anymore and because my dad’s been paying her $1000 every month since he found me and she won’t have that anymore.

Everyone except my younger half brother and step brother is acting like I don’t exist. My dad is going to pick me up on Sunday and honestly I can’t wait.

Should she? Let’s hear what Reddit thinks!

The top comment says OP should take the time to get back some of the closeness she’s missed with her father.

This person agrees that her mother is the one being selfish, not OP.

More than one commenter kindly suggested OP do therapy.

A few people suspected the mom was mostly upset about losing a free babysitter.

This commenter says that selfishness is different then self preservation.

I agree that OP should go.

But I also really hope she gets a good therapist.