There are too few spouse who are willing to really stand up for their significant others with family and close friends, if you ask me.

That’s why I found this story to be a breath of fresh air.

OP’s wife has a gift for crocheting, and started a tradition of crafting a shawl for brides-to-be in the family.

My wife, Lena, crochets a lot and often gifts it to friends and family. When her 2nd oldest brother got married, she made the bride a shawl to wear over her dress in the evening.

The bride loved it and ever since Lena has made shawls for everyone in her family getting married.

She gets along fairly well with her brothers, though her feelings for her oldest brother are complicated due to some childhood abuse.

Now Lena’s oldest brother, George, is getting married again. Lena doesn’t have a relationship with George as he was abusive to her as a child, but if she has to see him then she is polite but distant with him. She doesn’t want to cut off the rest of her family because of George.

The oldest brother and OP work together, and they have all managed to keep things civil.

I work with George and while we aren’t friends, we are friendly at work – Lena encouraged this, when George got moved to my team I was going to request a transfer not wanting to expose Lena to George as my team do a lot of get togethers with our significant others.

Until he was getting married and, though their mother, asked OP to ask his wife if she would make a shawl for his bride. His wife agreed, made the shawl, and passed it to the brother at work to keep his wife out of it.

As it is a family wedding, Lena’s mom asked her if she could crochet a shawl for George’s fiancee and Lena agreed. It was arranged that once it was finished I would take it to work to give to George so that Lena didn’t have to see him.

Earlier this week, the shawl was completed and I emailed George at work to let him know that I would bring it in today as the wedding is tomorrow. When I got into work this morning, I gave George the shawl and let him know that Lena and I were looking forward to the wedding.

Later, he heard from his wife that she had been uninvited from the wedding due to “space issues,” but OP was still invited. He was mad, figuring they just invited her to get the shawl and had always planned to rescind the invitation once it was finished.

Come lunch time, Lena called me to let me know that George’s fiancee had called her and told her that she was no longer invited to the wedding citing the place they are having the wedding and the reception at is too small for the number they have coming so are having to make cut backs. However I was still invited to the wedding.

I was mad at this because they clearly only invited Lena to get a shawl, which to me is just rude. If they had asked Lena outright to make one, she probably would have done because she loves to crochet.

He happened to see the shawl unattended at work and took it back, leaving a note that he and the shawl wouldn’t be at the wedding, either.

On my way out of work, I noticed George wasn’t at his desk but the shawl was. I was still mad that they had used Lena to get a shawl and I just shoved it in my work bag.

I left a note on his desk telling George since Lena was no longer invited, the shawl and I would no longer be attending either.

Her family is calling her petty and his wife wants him to just give it back, but OP doesn’t want to, because he believes his wife deserves better treatment, especially from her family.

On my way home, I told Lena what I had done and asked her if she wanted to go out instead, so not to waste having a sitter. Lena was upset that I had taken the shawl as it was causing an uproar in her family group chat where people were calling her petty because I took it back.

Lena wants me to give it back. I don’t think I should, they don’t deserve Lena’s kindness. However, at the same time, I don’t want Lena to be upset with me over George and a shawl.

Am I wrong for taking back the shawl?

Edit: I have messaged the group chat, letting them know that I took it and if they should be angry at anyone then it should be me but I would also do it again because no one gets to be a bother to Lena.

What should he do? He’s asking Reddit!

The top comment says what’s done is done.

This person thinks Lena should wash her hands of her entire family.

And they think OP should kick him off the work team, too.

Those who have been there have a ton of sympathy for the wife.

They really hope his wife can get some therapy.

This is a rough one.

I will never understand why people want to be so awful to the people they’re supposed to love.