If someone doesn’t ask what you do, would you bring it up? If not, would your answer change if your job was relevant to the conversation?

Those are the questions OP’s friends are asking after she stayed silent, embarrassing a young man in the process.

OP is a software engineer. She recently was sort of setup on a blind date with the friend of a friend’s boyfriend who recently got a job as a developer.

My friend “Grace” invited me to a board game bar to play and have drinks with her, her boyfriend and one of their friend’s “Nick”.

We went to get drinks in pairs, Grace going with her boyfriend, meanwhile Nick and I stayed at the table and vice versa. So Nick and I had plenty of time to talk just the two of us.

Nick started the night by telling about his recent career change, he decided to quit his previous job, go to a coding bootcamp and he got a job as a developer one or two months ago. He was very proud of himself and his new salary and told me this multiple times.

He talked incessantly about his job – even though “she wouldn’t understand – and bought drinks because he could afford it on his new salary.

He never asked me what I do for work, but talked about his new job quite a lot, occasionally saying “sorry, you don’t understand that, haha”. During the entire evening, I never told him I has been working as a software engineer for the past 4 years, because he never asked and honestly, I found it a bit entertaining.

When it came to the drinks, he invited me to every single one.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s not a problem with my developer salary.”

I told him multiple times he doesn’t have to pay for me, but he insisted.

He never asked OP what she did for a living so she didn’t tell him. That said, when he friended her on Facebook and learned she was a software engineer he got upset.

At the end of the night, when we were saying our goodbyes, he took out his phone to send me a friend request on Facebook.

My job is listed in my profile, so that was when he realized that I’m software engineer.

He asked me if it’s true that I’m a software engineer and I answered yes.

He asked me why I haven’t told him, why did I let him believe I was a cashier like Grace used to be (?? I never implied that), and why did I let him pay for everything when I probably earn more than him.

I told him that he never once asked and it was his fault he assumed.

He could have simply asked me about my job, but he only wanted to brag about his.

But if he wants me to, I can pay him back for the drinks.

OP doesn’t think she did anything wrong, but the guy and her friends think she embarrassed him for her own entertainment.

Reddit is here to render their verdict!

There’s one bit that convinced the top commenter of OP’s innocence.

And this person says OP was in a no-win situation.

They say it’s not her job to protect his feelings.

Nobody likes a condescending dates.

This person thinks OP should reconsider the whole lot of them.

This woman did nothing wrong.

Part of the problem with the patriarchy is the fact that she even had to come on here and ask whether or not she did.