I think most people who attend weddings go with with expectation that the day is about the bride and groom and nobody else.

If children are welcome at the ceremony, attentive and responsible parents will always take them out if they can’t hush them – but what if your guests aren’t attentive and responsible?

OP is getting married and invited her sister and young niece.

I’m getting married in a couple of weeks. It’s a destination wedding with only a few guests. My sister is bringing her 1 y/o toddler.

The child is more than welcome – she’s part of the family and we want her there as part of the day.

She asked her sister to please take her niece out if she was talking/making loud noise during the ceremony.

However, as she’s still very young (and very loud at times), I’ve asked that somebody takes her out during the ceremony if she’s being distracting and shouting/ babbling loudly.

I know that this will probably happen as she’s constantly chatting loudly and is never quiet but it’s only for half an hour and she can be as loud as she likes for the rest of the day.

I just want everybody to be able to focus on the ceremony and I don’t want the distraction. My partner and I have planned some spiritual moments and we want everyone to be able to enjoy them.

Also, to be honest (again a bit rude perhaps), we want the guests’ attention focused on us at this point.

OP thought it was a reasonable ask, but her sister disagreed.

My sister has told me I’m being rude for ‘excluding’ my niece from the ceremony and therefore by default ‘excluding’ my brother in law who will be the one to take her out.

She says that I’m asking him and the 1 y/o to go all that way just for the evening meal as they will miss the ceremony and that the 1 y/o will most likely miss that too as it will be after bed time.

I’ve told her that there’s a whole afternoon of relaxed things going on – photos, cake, a little walk outside, late lunch etc that they will be part of but apparently she’s still really annoyed with me.

She’s now saying that I should’ve said that it was a child-free event from the start and that they would’ve planned to leave her behind.

She’s basically called her bluff, but is feeling badly about it.

I would never ever have asked a new mum to go away for a weekend on a plane without her child, particularly as this was organised a while ago when the child was still very tiny and dependent. That to me would’ve been even more rude!

My sister’s now threatening to come without her partner and child. We’ve called her bluff and said that if that’s what she wants to do then we understand.

To be honest, she’s making us so mad that we’d be fine with all three of them not coming at this point!

I’m wondering if I’m the rude one here? I don’t think that I’m asking anything unreasonable. All I want is a peaceful, relaxed ceremony where we can all focus on what’s going on without a toddler babbling away.

Also, to be honest, even if this WAS an unreasonable ask, surely as it’s my wedding day then it’s up to me? Isn’t it the one day of my life when I can do literally anything I want?

Is there any way the sister has a leg to stand on? Reddit’s weighing in!

The top comment reassures OP that her ask is completely reasonable.

This person agrees the sister’s behavior is nuts.

Seriously, most parents would already be planning to do that.

This way of thinking really is pretty new.

We all know a mother like that.

This is a baffling one, for me.

It shouldn’t even have had to be asked.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.