Money is a thing we all need, that most of us wish we had more of, but a thing that can complicate life and relationships even at the best of times.

And when it seems like someone holding the purse strings isn’t playing fair, people can really get their feelings hurt.

OP is spending quite a bit of money to take his family – with a few additions – on an international trip.

In March I’m taking my family on vacation to Nicaragua. This is a trip I’ve been planning for a couple years and is somewhat of a splurge for me.

I have 6 children (31M, 30M, 19F, 16M, 9F, 7M). My oldest son is paying for himself and his 2 sons (7M, 5M), and I’m paying the costs for everyone else including my 30 y/o’s fiancé and my 16 y/o sons’ best friend.

My girlfriend is also coming with us and I’m paying for her and her 5 y/o daughter.

His 19yo daughter wants to bring her boyfriend. OP said he has to pay his own way, and has a few reasons.

My 19 y/o daughter asked me if her boyfriend (of 15 months) could come with us on vacation. My answer was yes but that he would have to pay the extra costs (flights, excursions, etc). We’re renting a house and my daughter would be getting her own room anyway so he could stay in there for no extra cost.

According to her, the only reason her boyfriend isn’t coming is because he can’t “afford” it. This essentially translates to his parents have refused to pay for it.

I know his parents are wealthy and in fact are currently on vacation. My daughter is not with them and from what I know was not invited.

My daughter has been begging me to just pay for him so he can come. My answer has remained no, and we have argued quite a lot about it.

The daughter doesn’t see why he should have to pay when OP is paying for other people who aren’t family and/or people old enough to pay for themselves.

One of her biggest objections is that I am paying for multiple other non-family members and that her older brother (30M) is old enough to be paying for himself. She has not agreed with my defences.

When it comes to my 30 y/o and his fiancé, they would have chosen not to come if I was not covering the bigger expenses for them. They are paying for a wedding in May and don’t have money for a trip like this right now. I love them both and wanted them to come which is why I’m happy to pay for them.

My 16 y/o has been best friends with the kid that’s coming with us since 1st grade. He’s been raised by a single mom, dad’s not in the picture and money’s always been tight for them. He’s never been on a proper vacation, and he spends so much time at my house he is practically family.

My daughter’s biggest issue is my paying for my girlfriend and her daughter, which she then escalated to be about any of the money I’ve spent of my gf.

I told her it was none of her business how I spend money on my partner or how we split expenses.

I earn 3x as much as my gf why would I expect her to split costs evenly.

She won’t let it go and won’t accept his excuses (reasons) for saying no.

My daughter is upset with me right now and I feel bad but don’t really think I’m being an a——.

My gf thinks I was being an jerk during an argument with my daughter because I pointed out the people I’m paying for are the people I want to be there, obviously making her think I just don’t want her bf there, even though I have a neutral stance on it.

My gf thinks I should cut my losses and just pay for the bf. I think she’s just saying this because she feels bad my daughter turned it into an issue about her.

Am I being the a——?

Now OP is wondering if he should just relent – and he’s willing to listen to Reddit’s judgement.

The top comment says having different rules for different people really isn’t cool.

Others think OP’s reasons are sound, though.

Then again, he can’t really know the details of other people’s finances.

And this person thinks the daughter is being spoiled.

His money his rules…but still.

This commenter agrees the dad is drawing weird lines in the sand.

I can imagine having trouble swallowing this at 19.

It would be hard not to read into it, that’s for sure.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.