March 30, 2024 at 8:35 pm

Wife Keeps Gift Of $20K To Herself Each Year, But Gets Mad When Husband Refuses To Fund Her Expensive Habits

by Addison Sartino

Source: Reddit/AITA'/Pexels

Finances are one of the biggest stressors amongst married couples.

Some couples swear by separate finances while others prefer joint accounts.

This husband took to Reddit to share his story.

So I (M39) am married to the love of my life (F36).

We have two sweet kids, ages 5 and 9, and we all live in a house in a nice small typical Scandinavian town.

The couple mainly splits bills.

Our economy is mostly shared – more on this in a bit.

The husband has a job while the wife does not.

I’m an engineer, working as consultant. Great pay and benefits. I make more than I spend.

My wife has a masters degree in human communication – a horribly useless degree, even according to herself.

Since graduating something like 8 years ago, she has been unable to find a job in her field. Note: Those 8 years include her second pregnancy and maternity leave.

The wife is spoiled by her wealthy parents.

Here is the thing. My wife has very wealthy parents (like no-financial-worries-at-all wealthy).

Thanks to them, her share of our house was gifted to her (I still pay mortgage on my share). They gifted her a brand new car (I drive my own). Each Christmas, they gift her $20.000 – her, not me.

The money from her parents is her only source of income.

Besides that yearly gift, she has more or less been without income for most of her adult life, including when she attended university. She did hold a few odd jobs here and there.

The joint account they have is split in half to cover family charges.

We share all family related expenses (utilities, food, insurances, vacations, kids stuff and so on) through a shared account – 50/50. Besides that, we have our own accounts. But many purchases goes toward the family/house/kids anyway, so it’s not like air tight. You know how it is.

The wife got a part time job she hates.

My wife recently got a part time job (15-20 hours/week) in a clothing store.

Pay is terrible, hours are weird and she doesn’t get along with the owner. Therefore, she is considering quitting.

I’m telling her to go ahead, but also that even a bad job pays better than no job.

The husband thinks she is being too particular.

In my opinion, she is a little picky with jobs. Won’t do cleaning, elderly care and other stuff like that, despite those being jobs she is able to get without any qualifications.

She keeps applying for jobs in her own field, but so far without any luck besides a couple of first round interviews. The market is VERY limited.

With changes in the economy, she is not able to get by with her $20K.

Because of increased cost of living (you all know the story), her yearly gift and small paycheck doesn’t quite cut it anymore. She tells me that she is barely making ends meet.

Therefore, she has asked me to help her out, by paying a larger share of our shared expenses.

I basically said no.

The husband is resentful that she isn’t willing to work any job.

I told her that not many people are as privileged as her and that she really should be less picky – or even consider requalification (new education and/or field of work).

I felt bad telling her, but also needed to be honest with her.

I could help her out, but that just doesn’t sit right with me, all things considered.

So now of course, according to her, I’m an *******. But am I?

Reddit users didn’t side with the wife, but they didn’t side with the husband either!

One person brought up the idea of inheritance when it comes to sharing.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Another reader criticized the couple for living above their means.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This person said that both individuals owe each other an apology for allowing this arrangement to begin with.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Dang… I wish I was given a $20K gift every year.

If you liked that post, check this one about a guy who got revenge on his condo by making his own Christmas light rules.