Blending families is one of the hardest processes to go through, both for the kids and the parents.

In fact, sometimes it doesn’t work out no matter how hard you try.

OP has 3 stepchildren and none of his own.

My wife and I have been married for about 4 years. She brought 3 kids from previous relationships into the marriage while I have none.

They moved into my house after the marriage because I live in a better school district.

Obviously we’ve had our ups and downs but overall it’s been good

One day, he found a large dent in his car and learned his stepdaughter was at fault.

a couple of weeks ago when I woke up and found a large dent running down the entire passenger side of my car. The dent is about a hands wide, starts at the front fender, and runs down all the way to the rear tire.

I was furious and thought someone side swept my car as it was parked on the street. I checked our doorbell camera to see if it recorded anything and was surprised to see our 16 year old daughter sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night and driving off in my car.

She later returned hours later stumbling into the house. Outside of those 2 events, the doorbell camera didn’t record anything else but a couple of passing cars that didn’t come close to mine.

His wife, though, wanted to handle things her own way.

I angrily showed my wife the recording and told her our daughter needs to be punish but she said that she’ll talk to her. I argued that talk isn’t enough which led us into an argument. My wife argued that the new family dynamic has been hard on the kids while I argued that it doesn’t excuse the damage done to my car. I wanted her to agree to ground our daughter from social media and make her get a job to pay for the damage.

They argued, and she told him to stay out of it.

I angrily showed my wife the recording and told her our daughter needs to be punish but she said that she’ll talk to her. I argued that talk isn’t enough which led us into an argument.

My wife argued that the new family dynamic has been hard on the kids while I argued that it doesn’t excuse the damage done to my car.

I wanted her to agree to ground our daughter from social media and make her get a job to pay for the damage.

We argued for hours until she said I don’t get a say in any punishment because I’m not her father.

That ended the argument and I walked off.

So, OP stayed out of everything to do with his stepkids.

Since then I’ve checked out of any parental duties. I’ve been an adult and still make sure the kids are safe and fed but I haven’t done anything a father would do.

They had doctor’s appointments last week for their checkups because they play sports in school and I refused to drive them causing my wife to have to take off work.

They start school next week and I’ve dropped them off ever since they moved in but I told my wife she’ll have to do it this year. She argued she can’t because of her work schedule and I answered a mother would figure it out.

She called me a child and to grow up.

I think since I’m not the father I don’t have to take on the responsibilities of one but obviously she disagrees.

AITA?

Does Reddit think this passive-aggressive tact is the right way?

The top comment says OP is focusing on the wrong part of the story.

This person says OP’s wife isn’t doing a bang-up job of parenting.

They say somebody should be the responsible parent.

But this commenter thinks neither of them are up to the task.

At least a few people didn’t blame OP, though.

This is pretty immature behavior from two grown adults.

It seems like those kiddos might be in trouble.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.