Parents are very particular about their child’s appearance.

My mom dressed me in a sweater vest and little polo shirts as a kid, and always had my hair spiked up with hair gel, which explains why I hate the feeling of it to this day!

Apart from clothes, there are bigger, more permanent decisions a parent must make: like haircuts. Or even more permanent, having their ears pierced!

And while this user chose to let her daughter decide for herself if she wanted her ears pierced, her stepmother insisted that she pierce her daughters ears.

But when she bought OP’s daughter earrings in an attempt to force her, she was absolutely furious when OP exchanged her gift for something else!

Check it out!

AITA for telling my father and stepmother that I’ll exchange the gift they bought for my daughter?

My daughter is turning 5 later this month. We have a trip coming up, so we decided to have her birthday party last Saturday instead.

When we got home after the party, we helped our daughter open her gifts.

The only ones she didn’t open were the ones we realized were jewelry or clothing (she doesn’t care about those, only the toys), which me and my husband opened without her.

Those were gifted mostly by family members. The jewelry department mainly consisted of necklaces and bracelets.

The sole exception was a pair of earrings, gifted by my father and his wife.

But there was a slight issue with the earrings. OP’s daughter didn’t even have her ears pierced!

My daughter’s ears aren’t pierced. We didn’t pierce them when she was born, nor do we intend to do so anytime soon.

We want to let her decide whether she wants to, and she’s never expressed any interest.

So me and my husband already knew we’d be exchanging the earrings.

Usually, we don’t tell people we’re exchanging a gift they bought for us. This time is different.

And the difference, OP said, came in the form of her stepmother’s insistence on piercing her daughter’s ears.

My stepmother has been pestering me about piercing my daughter’s ears since she was born. There’s always a different reason why.

First, it was because “people wouldn’t know she was a girl if we didn’t”, then it turned into “she’ll get jealous of her friends”, and so on.

But she always makes the point that girls need to have their ears pierced.

And this wasn’t a one time conversation. It was an “every time OP sees her” conversation.

She brings it up almost every time we see her. My father usually doesn’t comment on it, but has backed her up a few times.

Also, my stepmother’s never complained about my older son’s appearance, so I know this is rooted in s*xism.

When my father called us the next day to ask what we thought of the earrings, I told him they looked nice.

My stepmother joined in and asked, “So you’re getting her ears pierced?” I tried to dodge the question, but she later asked it again.

OP wasn’t budging on the earrings, but she was willing to exchange them for a necklace her daughter could actually wear.

So I told them no. I looked at the store’s website and found a matching necklace, which we’ll exchange the earrings for. There’s a price difference, but I’ll cover it.

Well, they weren’t happy. Apparently, my stepmother started crying.

My father told me off for thinking about exchanging a “thoughtful gift” he bought for his granddaughter, and said it was wrong of me to dismiss my stepmother’s opinion like that.

In return, I told them I couldn’t take her insistence anymore, and she needed to stop obsessing over my daughter’s ears. It escalated into a fight.

My husband, while 100% on my side otherwise, thinks I didn’t need to tell them.

AITA?

Sounds like there would have been a fight as soon as the stepmother saw her ears unpierced, even if OP had never told them.

Reddit said OP was completely right in sticking with the boundary she had established, and advised her to never let her stepmother watch her daughter alone!

This Mom was reminded of a time her daughter was pressured by her classmates to get her ears pierced.

And this user reminded everyone that in the US, piercings under 18 require parental approval, so OP would have to be there for her daughter’s ears to be pierced.

And this user said the stepmom needs a wake up call, because piercings and tattoos are worn by people of all genders!

Finally, this user was on the other side of an earring argument

Usually the older relatives are the ones who don’t want their kids’ ears pierced that early.

What a weird hill for the stepmom to die on!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.