May 18, 2024 at 7:32 am

She Got Free Tickets To The Opera And Was Excited To Go, But Her Partner Ruined The Experience On Purpose And Gaslit Her

by Trisha Leigh

Source: Shutterstock/Reddit

Not all art is for all people.

That said, I think most of us will try to enjoy the things our partner loves – or at the very least, do our best not to encroach on their enjoyment.

The following story details a time with that didn’t happen.

Let’s take a look.

AITA for being annoyed that my partner came to the opera in gym attire and ate during the play?

Due to a project we recently did at work, my colleagues told me we can get free opera tickets, with a plus one.

I was really excited, since I love opera, and asked my partner to join me.

Her partner agreed to go, but didn’t get the memo about dress code.

He told me he would join after the gym and we will meet on the spot. So we meet at the location, and he is wearing gym stuff – sports shorts and a sports vest.

He joked how it is probably too snobbish of a place for it, and he took a pair of jeans with him and a shirt, but he doesn’t really want to bother.

Now, since I was a small kid and we went to the theatre with my school or parents. Where I am from theatre/opera/ballet tickets are super cheap for school kids, and it is a very common school activity to go with your whole class.

I knew that it is basic common sense to look decent at such places.

She was relieved when he changed (into the bare minimum upgrade).

I am no fan of fancy overdressing myself, and my partner knows it, however is it not ok to expect at least plain jeans, and not sweatpants?

And not to talk loud, EAT OR DRINK during the life performance on stage?

So seeing all the actually nicely dressed people arriving to the venue, my partner annoyingly said that I would probably want him to wear the jeans, and now we have to find a place for him to go change, even though he is not so keen on it.

I was relieved and did not want to argue, so I did not say much about it, and we had to go around the corner for him to change.

But then… snacks?

The first act was good, and we went to get some snacks in the break, but due to the long queue we did not have the time to eat them.

So we come back to our places, my partner sits between me and my colleagues and with my side vision I see him taking the food out.

Now as I mentioned we are adults in our late 30s, and as far as I am concerned I do not have to tell a 35+ year old adult basic etiquette, but I had a bad feeling about it so I turned to him and whispered “don’t!!”.

He pretended not to notice her visible embarrassment.

He laughed and I was relieved thinking he was just doing a weird joke or whatever. 30 seconds with my side vision I see him EATING the snacks.

I was absolutely mortified and speechless, I poked him with my elbow, but he just kinda laughed and ignored me. I was ready to melt through the floor from embarrassment.

I can not BELIEVE I am seeing a grown person EATING during an opera, and even worse – that being my partner, right next to my colleagues who invited me here.

A few minutes later my partner leaned to tell me something, but I was still burning from shame and anger and did not reply, so he asked “is it about the food?” and then rolled his eyes, sighed loudly and stopped talking to me.

I could not enjoy the rest of the opera at all, and when my colleagues gathered to discuss it afterwards, I was still feeling too embarrassed, excused myself and left asap.

It didn’t get better.

My partner caught up with me outside and was annoyed at me “being so stuck up about such a petty thing”.

According to him it was dark, and he wasn’t sitting direct in front of the stage so “who cares, it is ok”.

I told him it is about how far he sits, it is common sense to not do such things in a theatre, he rolled his eyes and told me “there is no such rule, it is not written anywhere” and that I am “making up some imaginary rules just to go at him”.

Then he gaslit her.

I really can’t wrap my head around this, so I started questioning my sanity.

He also told me that in his opinion it is me, who has a problem, and I should discuss it with my therapist “that I care too much what people think” (I am in therapy for different reasons, he was actually the one who encouraged me to start therapy in the first place).

I mean it is not just about “what people think” – as an artist myself I find it insanely rude, uncultured and disrespectful both to actors and people next to you to bring food to the opera and eat it DURING the live performance!

We came here specifically for this live event, can you really not wait for like an hour?!

AITA for being angry and disappointed with the whole experience?

Does Reddit agree he did this on purpose?

The top commenter says he absolutely meant to upset her.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This person thinks a long chat is in order.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This commenter has some questions for the poster.

Source: Reddit/AITA

They don’t think he’s worth her time.

Source: Reddit/AITA

It might be a hard thing to get past, honestly.

Source: Reddit/AITA

I would be so mad.

Less about the opera and more about him trying to convince me there’s something wrong with me for being upset.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.