Over the course of a relationship it’s pretty normal for our looks to change.

If you’re with someone for a long time, life happens, and you go on that rollercoaster ride together.

We might change careers, get new hobbies, have children – and with that, we age and our bodies change too.

That’s exactly what happened in this story: life happened and the formerly fit wife started to put on weight.

But instead of embracing the change, she became upset with her body, and ended up hurting her partner’s feelings too.

AITA for being offended by my wife’s self deprivation?

My wife has always been fit and small, I’ve always been on the heavier side. My wife and I have always told one another that we love each other’s bodies and are incredibly attracted to each other.

Despite me not really liking my body prior to meeting my wife, her reassurance and encouragement changed that.

But this wife’s love for her partner’s body didn’t extend to her own.

Her body has changed due to life events that have made it less toned and muscular or thin and more on the average side. She has been self-critical since this change, almost weekly.

I always do my best to lend my reassurance and express my desire and love for her body, despite what she’s feeling about it currently. Not just in a “I’ll take it even with flaws,” but more of a “I love adore and cherish every bit of this body, and lose my mind over how incredible it is” way.

However supportive, this partner’s words just don’t seem to be having an impact.

Today she was feeling self critical again and wanted to vent or lean on me about her body. As always, I listened and made every attempt to reassure her and build her up.

I told her I wished that my words would make an impact, but that I understood how difficult it is, since I’ve struggled with this before.

The wife really doesn’t seem to see the beauty in her own body.

She went on with examples of why she thinks her body is gross. One example was how she has a little bit of a fat roll, and had gotten a crumb underneath it after eating, before realizing and immediately cleaning it.

She said it was incredibly gross and disgusting that she had fat rolls, and that they were so big that crumbs could get underneath.

Her own insecurities understandably caused some confusion and insecurity in her partner.

As a bigger person with these very same attributes she is describing, I have been in a similar situation with the crumb example.

So I expressed that I get that she’s feeling certain ways and I’m doing my best to reassure her, but the example she used is one that happens to me. I have rolls, so if she views those things as gross and disgusting, it kind of feels like she’s calling me gross and disgusting.

Understandably, the poster felt unheard by their wife’s response.

She refused to see how they’re one and the same. I asked her why it was okay for me to have the same scenarios and body type, but if she has it, she sees it as gross and disgusting?

She told me it was because it was her now.

I’ve tried to express to her how it hurts that she would call her body gross and disgusting because she perceives her fat rolls and that scenario as such, but expects me to believe that the same isn’t the case when it comes to my own body.

AITA?

Let’s find out what Reddit thought of this relationship mishap.

This person thought that this was just a case of the wife going through a difficult time.

While this person thought that the wife might need a little outside help with her insecurities and coming to terms with her body as it changes.

Another person reassured the poster, empathising with what the wife might be going through too.

Loving your own body can be a tricky thing.

But one thing’s for sure: it’s great that this wife has the support of her partner however she looks!

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