Words have consequences.

And sometimes we throw them around without a care in the world where they land.

It’s good to learn these lessons earlier in life, to choose those words more carefully.

And that’s the lesson learned in this story, where the grieved is still dealing with the fallout.

AITA for not forgiving my stepson quickly?

I have been married to Rob for 5 years, he has 2 children, Emma and Mike (14F and 16M). I’m black and they’re white.

2 years ago, they lost their mother and started staying with us full time, before it was weekends.

She explains where she stands with the 2 kids.

My relationship with Emma is great, we are not mother/daughter, but I love her and we have great times. With Mike, he made it very clear that I would never be his mother or stepmother, just his father’s wife.

We’re not close and we only talk the basics, but at least he respects me.

This is where the issue popped up.

This week my husband was busy at work and I had to pick up Emma and Mike from extracurricular activities.

Thursday, I went to pick up Mike and for the first time, I found a spot close to the exit.

When he saw me, he turned to his friends and said quietly “I’m going, my maid has arrived”, he said quietly, but I have excellent hearing, a fact that everyone at home knows except him because we don’t talk.

She then confronted him about it.

When he came in, I asked him why he called me maid and he replied “I’m not going to call you stepmother or mother.”

I continued “But why your maid? And not anything else”.

He was quiet.

Later, I told Rob what happened and he talked to Mike about how wrong it was, how racist it was and how insulted I felt.

Mike then realized how he’d hurt her.

Mike immediately came to apologize, saying he hadn’t thought that way and didn’t mean to be racist.

I said okay, but that attitude had hurt me, because it’s one thing not to accept me in the family, it’s another thing to call me a maid.

Sounds like Mike has been trying to make amends.

He’s been trying to “compensate” by talking to me more and trying to help me with some things, but I’m keeping my distance.

Today Rob talked to me, saying that I was being too hard on Mike and that he’s trying everything he can to make things right and is genuinely sorry, but I’m ignoring him.

But OP is sticking to her guns.

I replied that him being sorry for what he did doesn’t change what happened and how humiliated I felt upon hearing that.

I’m not ready to forgive for now and it serves as a lesson for him, hurting people has consequences.

Rob said I’m being harsh and it could be a moment of rapprochement between us, learning and I’m wasting it.

AITA?

Let’s see what folks had to say.

One person made an excellent point about the racist aspect of it all.

While one person pointed out the lesson aspect of it.

This person had a brilliant remark about the need to coexist peacefully and properly.

And this commenter kept it perfectly right down the middle.

Words have consequences. Let’s choose them better.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.