There’s nothing wrong with getting a little financial help from your parents. The problem is when you’re nothing but unappreciative for the help they’ve given!

In fact, even after getting generous financial help in things like schooling or living situations, some children even have the nerve to ask for more!

Well that’s exactly what this user did when his Dad promised him and his wife a down payment on a home, and he complained that it wasn’t enough to cover one in their area!

Was his Dad wrong to suggest he move back to his home town? Decide for yourself!

AITA for “punishing” my family by no longer doing birthdays, holidays, vacations because my Dad screwed me and my wife over?

When my wife and I were talking about getting married, my Dad said that he would give us a down payment for a home. We were thrilled and kept that in mind.

We would be able to afford a good starter home with his help, and we scrimped and saved to add to it.

Except apparently HE meant “a sum of money good for a down payment for a house near us” where the cost of living is low.

Unfortunately, OP had no intention of living near his parents….

He did not ever mean a down payment for a home in Colorado, where my wife and I have lived since we were in college.

He said he thought I would be “smart enough” to realize that we’d need to move somewhere with a lower COL than Colorado.

He keeps saying “move to a cheaper city.” Our lives are here. Our friends, our jobs, our hobbies.

You can’t exactly leave your house and be up on top of a 14,000ft peak in 6 hours where my family is.

But OP put no stock in his Dad’s arguments, and told him to forget about them ever moving back.

I told him that we had never talked about moving back there, and we never would.

That we would rather be stuck renting for a while longer than be stuck somewhere we didn’t want to be, and the “move to a cheaper city” wouldn’t work for us.

He said “so be it” and gave us the amount and that was that. I expressed gratitude and thanked him for the money. It is still towards the goal.

Well because of this shift in our finances, we have had to make a lot of changes to save up the rest of the money.

And apparently by pure coincidence, those changes meant not visiting his family for the next couple years..

We have had to cut out vacations, birthday gifts, holidays, etc. We won’t be traveling home for a few years.

At our current rate, we should have an ok down payment by the end of next year (2025).

My Dad confronted us about this because we won’t come for a summer break trip and told me that I was being a selfish, entitled brat because I hadn’t gotten my way.

That I was essentially punishing the rest of the family because we “assumed” what his gift would be.

OP pushed back, saying that he was only trying to save money for their future…

I told him that I was grateful for the amount he gave us.

But that it means we also need to buckle down and save every penny if we want to be able to afford a house anytime soon.

Even townhouses around us are easily over 400k, and that’s for the sketchy ones.

But is my Dad right? AITA?

While I understand OP’s logic, I do think it’s a little scummy to accept your Dad’s money for a down payment still refuse to visit him for the foreseeable future.

Reddit didn’t exactly see things from OP’s perspective, and said saying his Dad “screwed” him was a gross exagerration.

While this user pointed out that cutting any visits to them sends a clear message to his Father, regardless of his intentions.

But some defended OP, saying that people really don’t understand how expensive it is to travel.

This user even pointed out that it wasn’t like his Dad revoked the money when he learned OP was staying Colorado.

Finally, this user said that not everyone had the privilege of their parents helping them pay for their house, and that OP should be appreciative!

The very least you could do is go to visit him and thank him for the money!

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.