Everyone has a different definition of “clean”. Some people need everything to be absolutely spotless, and some people are happy if they can see even a little bit of their floor through the clutter.

But when you’re a guest in someone else’s house, you have to accommodate yourself to their level of cleanliness… within reason.

So when this user went to visit her boyfriend’s Mom, she was shocked to learn her house was absolutely filthy. She tried to stay one night, by the next morning she demanded they get a hotel.

Was she being too high maintenance, or was she protecting her sanity (and health!)? Decide for yourself!

AITA For not staying at my boyfriend’s mom’s house while we visit?

So I (30F) am visiting my boyfriends(43M) family out of state for the first time. I’ve like briefly met them over the phone but not in person.

The plan was to stay at his mom’s house, which I wasn’t opposed to- until we got there.

He hasn’t been able to go home in a few years, and his mom’s house has allegedly always been pristinely clean and well kept.

But the house OP’s boyfriend left wasn’t even close to the same one he came back to!

The house was honestly in a state of disrepair, smelled horribly of dog and dog pee.

She lets the dog go in the garage because she can’t handle going outside at night (she lives in the middle of nowhere there is zero danger).

The dog would not shut up the entire first night. She should not have this dog and she can’t handle it.

On top of the wonderful smells, OP also realized they were completely off the grid technologically…

Secondly there is zero phone reception there and she has no internet.

My boyfriend “guaranteed” he had cell service last time he was there. Zero.

We had to drive several miles just to use our phones and plan what we were doing over the weekend.

Unfortunately, those problems paled in comparison to the bathroom they would have had to use….

But the real last straw was the shower.

I already don’t like staying, bathing, and getting ready in other peoples houses but this shower was the most repulsive looking shower I have ever seen.

She has very hard well water and clearly has never scoured the shower once. Brown, black from top to bottom. It was filthy.

I couldn’t do it. I told my boyfriend I want to stay in a hotel for the rest of the time here.

And although OP’s boyfriend agreed they couldn’t stay there, he was still salty for the rest of their trip!

He was upset but agreed and we booked one, but has been kind of grumpy about it since then I can tell.

I’m not trying to be insulting. I just feel like I was given a false assumption about where we were staying and it was nothing like that.

His mom was also upset but I literally would be going 4 days without bathing.

I’m with OP. I could bear a smelly house for a few days to appease my partner, but if the shower looked like a science project I would be calling the Hampton Inn too!

Reddit said that OP’s refusal to stay was completely valid, but that her boyfriend’s attitude probably was more concern for his Mom than anger with her.

This user had a similar experience with her EX-boyfriend’s brother…

And this person pointed out that OP’s boyfriend probably wasn’t lying about her past cleanliness, and that’s what made it so hard for him to process.

Finally, this user agreed, saying that OP needed to support her boyfriend as he found out how to best help his Mom.

Hello is this Marriott? I need a room… immediately!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.