July 2, 2024 at 12:47 am

Her Brother Got Upset When She Helped Her Other Brother With Money After A Divorce, But Wouldn’t Just Give Him His Emergency Fund When He Asked For It

by Michael Levanduski

Source: Reddit/AITA/Unsplash/Vitaly Taranov

Helping family when they need it is an admirable thing to do.

If you have the means, it can be a nice thing to assist during an emergency to help them get through.

One problem to watch out for, however, is that if you help one family member, the others may feel entitled to money as well.

That’s what happened in this story when a sister helped her brother get back on his feet, but wasn’t willing to pay the full vet bill for another brother when he needed it.

Check out the details and see who was the AH in this situation.

AITA for not giving my brother money from an emergency fund set up for him?

I(36f) set up 3 savings accounts in my name that I put money into for my 3 brothers.

I started doing this shortly after finding out at 18 my parents set-up similar emergency accounts for only my sister and me in case of divorce or needing to make a hasty exit from a relationship and had been putting money into them our entire lives.

Its nice of the parents to want to help their daughters, but they really need to know that men have horror stories during divorce as well. What a great sister to step in.

They did not have accounts set up for my brothers and when asked, they said they wouldn’t need the help if they got divorced or didn’t need to worry about abusive spouses.

I thought that pretty unfair, especially considering my dad’s own brother had to sleep in his car and couch surf for months after his divorce and other male family members that had it just as rough as some of my aunts.

I need OP’s luck at the casino!

Between bonuses, saving, and some very lucky casino trips and scratch offs each account has about 14k.

Unfortunately 5 months ago my brother “Justin” and his wife filed for divorce.

I gave him his money shortly after being told.

Wednesday we had dinner at our parents and Justin was telling us all about an apartment he found that has enough room for him and his kids.

Nothing can cause family drama faster than money, unfortunately.

My older brother “Andy” asked how he could afford it and Justin told him how much I gave him.

Andy and his wife gave me some serious stink eye.

After the dinner, Andy called and asked why I didn’t fully pay for an emergency expense they had a few years ago: they needed 3k for a vet expense and I gave them 1500 from my own money.

Wow. Brother is acting pretty entitled here.

He then asked I give him all the funds I had set aside for him and I told him no.

That it’s for a very specific reason for worst case scenario.

Best case scenario either he or any future kids will get a nice chunk of change whenever it’s time to shed my mortal coil.

Now Andy and his wife are upset, not talking to me, and telling our family I’m expecting them to divorce.


To me, this situation is very cut and dry. Sister is being a saint, and her brother (and his wife) are being AH’s.

OP is not even their parent, but decided to step in and build up a safety net for each of her brothers. They shouldn’t feel like they get to decide what that money is for.

This could have been avoided by not telling them about the money, and asking “Justin” to keep it quite once she helped.

Let’s see what insights Reddit commentors have on this.

Yup. OP should take that money and use it on herself, not her entitled brother.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Exactly this. Brother should have nothing to say (except THANK YOU!) about this money.

Source: Reddit/AITA

I have the same thoughts as this comment. I’d take that money and spend it on myself!

Source: Reddit/AITA

OP is so generous every step of the way, but her brother still demands more. Unbelievable.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Exactly. I can’t wrap my head around how brother can be so entitled.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Come on man, show some appreciation for her incredible generosity.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.