There are few things that can tear a family apart faster than one parents cheating on their spouse.

And as much as it hurts the cheater’s partner, you can bet everything that those poor kids won’t be quick to forgive, or forget, what their parent had put the family through.

So when this user’s brother cheated on his pregnant wife, all of his kids went no contact with him. When his oldest son passed away, he asked OP to get his kids to forgive him.

Was OP wrong to tell him no, and that he wasn’t going to pressure his nieces and nephews? Decide for yourself!

AITA for telling my brother I won’t bully his daughter and son for him?

My brother was married for 20 years (married young) and and three kids with wife #1; AJ ( passed away 7 months ago at 22), CJ (21m) and Alice (19f).

He cheated on his ex wife, which was discovered when his current wife was pregnant with their second child together (he also had a 20 month old at the time).

AJ, CJ and Alice were still minors at the time so shared custody was set up and they spent an equal amount of time with my brother and with their mom.

But OP’s brother’s kids were less than pleased with this new living arrangement…

The kids hated this. They were clear from the moment the affair came to light that they would never accept my brother’s other children or his current wife.

All three went no contact with my brother upon their 18th birthdays and refused all contact.

AJ became ill last year and he passed away 7 months ago. My brother was not told. AJ passed before he learned this.

However, considering the close relationship OP had maintained with his nieces and nephews, he had never lost contact like his brother…

I knew and so did my younger brother because we were close to our nephews and niece and we’re still close to our former SIL who was always like a sister to us.

Losing AJ was one of the hardest things. He had so much life ahead of him and he was about to become a dad, something my brother was also unaware of.

AJ had prepared for his passing. He had written up a will. Most of everything he had went to his son, who was born 6 weeks after he died.

But he shared personal possessions with his siblings (CJ and Alice) and his mom.

Unsurprisingly, his estranged father did not receive anything in the will, nor was he invited to the funeral!

He made it very clear in his will he was not leaving anything to my brother or my brother’s other children.

My brother was upset that he was kept in the dark about AJs illness.

Even more so when he found out AJ was expecting a child with his girlfriend and then more when AJ planned a very private funeral so my brother and his family could not attend.

When it came to light AJ left nothing to my brother or the younger children my brother became more distraught.

So with the audacity that only estranged Father’s can muster, he asked AJ’s siblings for something to give his own children….

He reached out to CJ and Alice and asked them if he could have some of AJ’s trinkets that he always kept, something he could pass to the other kids. They said no way in hell.

This is when my brother tried to involve me. He told me to think of my younger niece and nephew and asked me to convince CJ and Alice to let them have something of AJ’s.

I told him no. He said I needed to do something because they needed something to remember AJ by. He told me to do whatever it takes.

I told him I won’t bully his kids for him. He said I was exaggerating and he never even suggested that. AITA?

I’m sure it’s a sad moment for OP’s brother to realize that it was his own actions that put him in this situation, and that they were so egregious his son didn’t even want him at his funeral.

Reddit assured OP he was doing the right thing, and said he was only respecting his late nephew’s wishes.

This user said the only reason OP’s brother was making an effort now was to relieve his guilty conscience.

Many thought that considering AJ’s half-siblings barely knew him, they really didn’t need “something to remember him by.”

Finally, this user thought that it wasn’t OP’s responsibility to mend his brother’s relationship with his kids.

Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.