July 9, 2024 at 2:51 pm

Man Reunites With Troubled Father To Help Build His New House, But Is Accused Of Being “Ungrateful” When He Refuses To Give His Dad A Key

by Ryan McCarthy

Source: Reddit/AITA/Pexels/PhotoMIX Company

People often say that everyone deserves a second chance in life, but when it comes to parents and their children, that’s often easier said than done.

More often than not, it’s not just a second chance. Its the third, fourth, fifth chances that eventually cause someone to reach their breaking point.

So when this user’s alcoholic father helped him pay for and build his house, he was furious when his son refused to give him a key to the place.

Was OP wrong to take his Father’s money, or was he just setting boundaries? Decide for yourself!

AITA for refusing to give my dad a key to my new home?

I have a very complicated relationship with my dad. He drinks pretty heavily and can get quite angry easily.

Growing up with him has lead to a lot of traumatic memories.

Multiple people in my family, including my sister, have cut him off because of this.

Despite their complicated history, OP’s Dad helped him pay the deposit for his new home…

I recently purchased my first home. Real estate where I live is notoriously expensive.

My dad gifted me some cash to help out with the deposit, as he did with my sister a few years back.

Over the past few months, we’ve been renovating the house together as this is his hobby.

But even with the fincancial help, OP put his foot down when his Dad thought he would get to keep one of the house keys…

Today we were discussing getting a locksmith in to change the keys. He spoke about how he was going to keep one of the keys.

I immediately disagreed with this and told him directly that I wanted privacy, and that if he wanted to come, he could text me.

My reasoning is that I want my house to be peaceful.

Growing up with him, I feel like I never had the opportunity to just relax.

And OP was afraid this disruption of his personal peace would only continue if his Father had access to his house.

If he has a key, I’m fearful he will show up, drunk and unannounced.

We always argue when he’s drunk, and it always ends in broken glass on the floor and me crying myself to sleep.

He got furious and called me ungrateful, said it was his right because of the money, said he wasn’t going to help renovate anymore, said I was just using him, etc.

With differing opinions from the people around him, OP wasn’t so sure he had done the right thing..

There’s so many people who can’t afford a house who would probably think I’m being incredibly ungrateful.

Maybe I just need a dose of reality. My boyfriend told me that I should have just waited until the house was completed to say anything.

But I feel like that’s even more disingenuous.. AITA?

In my opinion, OP has no obligation to give his Dad access to his house, especially considering his pattern of showing up unannounced and being drunk and disruptive!

Reddit assured OP he wasn’t in the wrong, and said his Dad’s reaction was incredibly telling.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This person advised OP return the money his father gave him, so that he couldn’t hold it over his head.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Many thought that giving a non-resident a key, REGARDLESS of who they are, was never a good idea.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Finally, this user broke the mold and said no one was in the wrong, and that this was only a case of serious miscommunication.

Source: Reddit/AITA

At the end of the day, it’s his house!

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.