Having a new baby is an exciting event, and one that the whole family will get excited about.

What would you do if your family had the habit of making every big event all about themselves?

That is the mom-to-be in this story is facing, read on to see her solution.

WIBTA if I didn’t tell my family for 4+ days that I had the baby?

My mom (widowed) and in-laws are all three on the narc spectrum, with my mom being the worst.

Congratulations on the baby!

I’m going to have a planned c-section later this month and I don’t want to tell anyone ahead of time.

I also don’t want to announce baby’s birth, sex, or name until we are home, which will probably be 4 days after birth.

Ahh, that can be annoying.

I’m tired of my milestones and news being hijacked by my mom, and I don’t want my phone blowing up while I’m in the hospital.

(for example, when my BIL asked my mom for her blessing, she told everyone that my sister was engaged/getting engaged before he actually had the chance to propose. Sister is still hurt she found out from a cousin congratulating her).

What an honor.

We are planning on a baby name that would honor a late family member, and I know my mom will call the honoree’s next of kin and make it all about herself, and I want to be able to, after surgery, make those calls and announcements myself.

However, I might be the AH because healthy AND narc family members would feel hurt/confused/excluded at not being told about a major surgery or the birth/death of a family member for 4+ days.

I’m sure they will understand.

My in-laws are going to be first time grandparents and I imagine it would really hurt their feelings to not know for more than half a week that their first grandkid was born.

And this will make sharing the news with friends/family weird because we can’t explain why my husband and I needed this uncommon boundary.

Due to family dynamics, we can’t tell his family days before mine.

WIBTA if my husband and I waited to announce the baby for four or five days until we’re home?

WIBTA?

That is a hard situation, but I think she is doing the right thing.

Let’s see if the commenters agree.

Great way to put it.

Seems pretty simple.

Yes – She owes no explanation.

Not a bad idea here.

Exactly, great point.

Every new family deserves some peace.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.