Sister-In-Law Constantly Comes To Woman With Questions About Her Kids’ Behavior, But When The Woman Answers Honestly She Throws A Hissy Fit
Everyone has that friend who comes to you with questions that they want a very specific answer to.
They’ve already decided what the truth of the situation is in their mind, and they’re just coming to you to confirm their own delusion.
And if you don’t? Well you’re in a for a verbal dress-down the likes of which you’ve never seen!
That’s what happened to this teacher when her sister-in-law kept asking her questions about her children’s behavior, but would get furious when OP answered honestly!
Was OP in the wrong to tell her to stop asking questions if she doesn’t want the truth? Decide for yourself!
AITA for telling my SIL to stop asking me questions she doesn’t want the answers to?
I’m a teacher and sometimes because of this my SIL (husband’s sister) will ask me questions about kids that she never likes the answers to.
For the most part it’s focused around kids and blended families because she and her husband have made one together.
There are things they question that she then expects me to give more insight into supposedly, but I feel like she wants validation and gets mad when it doesn’t happen.
These questions usually centered around her relationship to her stepchildren…
Her oldest kids teacher sent home a message on his school tablet. The message was addressed to the parent specifically and not the parents.
She was upset to learn her son had asked for it to be addressed that way vs to the parents.
She asked me if that was something kids would normally do instead of letting it be “to the parents of child”.
I told her my school handled it differently but I know from some teachers that they did encounter some kids who would specify even if they had an active stepparent.
But of course, OP’s sister in law wasn’t satisfied with this answer….
She told me that’s abnormal and I said it’s something teachers encounter.
I told her I get corrected if I say parents to a kid instead of parent sometimes and I learn not to do it.
She told me that was ridiculous and kids don’t really do that kind of thing.
She just couldn’t help herself, and again went to OP to ask about her stepkids, but this time about their relationship to their stepsiblings…
Her older two kids and her stepkids all use step and half exclusively and they never use brother/sister for siblings not full bio.
She asked in the context of school do I hear this often and I said yes. I said I hear kids use step and half for siblings and it’s about 50/50 in my experience.
She refused to believe it was that frequent and that the parents don’t put a stop to it. She accused me of lying.
OP said though, that considering her sister-in-law’s family’s history, it was only natural to ask these types of questions…
Context on SILs family: SIL had two bio kids when she met her husband. Both of them have different fathers.
Her oldest kids father died 5 years ago and they broke up during her pregnancy, her and her second kids father broke up when both were still pretty young.
Her husband has three kids. One from a college girlfriend and two from his ex-wife. Together SIL and her husband have two kids together.
So they are very blended and there are some other parents involved. More so with her husband’s ex’s. The kids range from 14 now down to 3.
I have taught second and third grade so younger kids generally. Because her older kids and stepkids were younger when the families blended she comes to me.
Despite her understanding though, OP was growing sick and tired of her sister-in-law asking questions only to reject the answers…
But I’m tired of her asking questions she doesn’t want the answers to or doesn’t like the answers to.
So when she asked me a question last week I told her to stop asking questions she doesn’t want the answers to.
She told me I should be willing to help out and I’m wrong to say whether she does or doesn’t want the answers.
My husband told her I was right and she always takes it out on me when she doesn’t hear what she likes.
Other members of their family feel like I should just keep answering her questions and apologize.
AITA?
No! It’s like your friend who always goes to you for relationship advice, and never takes it, but comes back to you with the SAME EXACT problem a week later! It gets old fast!
Reddit assured OP that she wasn’t in the wrong, and that she shouldn’t have to apologize for answering questions asked of her.
This user said some people would rather pretend everything’s alright instead of acknowledging how hard it was to raise a blended family.
Many reminded OP that she wasn’t a family therapist, and she wouldn’t have to answer the questions even if she was.
Finally, this person told OP her sister wasn’t really looking for any advice, she was just looking for some validation.
Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to!
If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.
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