Sometimes we can all use a little tough love.

But what happens when that tough love is spurred on by a nasty divorce – and the bearer of bad news doesn’t take their family’s side?

That’s the gist of this story from Reddit.

And I bet more than a few people can relate.

AITA for telling my brother I think his soon to be ex-wife was right to leave him?

My brother Adam (32M) and SIL Eve (29F) are in the middle of a divorce.

Eve is the one who wants the divorce. Adam very much does not, but Eve is determined and has already moved out.

Eve has made her choice. And the author has opinions as to why.

I (30F) can’t blame her, because I would have done the same.

Well, there you have it.

The background is that my brother has ADHD and has never been very good at complying with treatment to help with it.

He’s one of those people that has an amazing bouncy personality to be friends with, but living with him is a complete nightmare.

I know, because growing up I was always expected to pick up his slack.

He doesn’t like to take meds because he doesn’t like the way they feel and therapy has never seemed to help him much.

The person she met and the person she married ended up being very different people.

He and Eve met in college and he was living with our parents up until they got married, so I don’t think she realized just how bad it was until then.

Eve is one of the most chill people I know, but I’ve watched her go from happy and put together to a nervous wreck over their marriage.

We’re friends and talk a lot and she confided in me that she feels like the only adult in the house and it’s driving her slowly insane more than once.

They tried marriage counseling but no lasting change.

Eve has been in therapy for herself for the last year, but my brother doesn’t see the point.

She’s trying to work on herself, but he isn’t putting forth the same effort.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was her having surgery and my brother completely dropping the ball on helping her while she recovered as she couldn’t get around easily.

Her mother ended up having to fly there to take care of her.

She told him that she couldn’t do it anymore and she wanted to have kids, but could never trust him to be a good parent now, so they needed to split.

You have to be able to trust your partner if you are going to bring kids into the occasion, and Adam almost immediately proved Eve’s instincts right when she left.

Ever since she moved out, his life has been complete chaos because she really was the only one doing any of the household management.

I’ve been holding my tongue and trying to be supportive while he cries and complains because I know it’s hard.

But I was on the phone with him the other day and he called Eve a b**** for leaving him and making it about kids when she knows how much he wants them.

I just had it.

The author is going to let her brother know exactly how she feels.

I told him that Eve leaving him was the best move for her own mental health and she was probably right that he’s not responsible enough to be a father right now and may never be at this rate.

He needs to take a good look at his life without Eve and ask himself if he’s capable of doing the hard everyday parts of parenting or if he just wanted the fun parts while Eve did all the actual work?

He’s furious with me and our mom chewed me out for kicking him while he’s down.

Our dad agrees with me (and we have secretly made a pact that we’re keeping Eve in the divorce) but thinks I shouldn’t have kicked the anthill.

AITA?

Family drama to the extreme. Let’s see what folks in the comments have to say about this one.

Top comment says marriage is a two way street, and Adam was just content to let it crash.

Another adds that turnabout is fair play, and it’s time Adam got a taste of his own medicine.

Others shared from their personal experience, and said Eve was smart to get out when she did.

Even mom caught some strays in the comment section!

It’s time to grow up, Adam, says this commenter.

He made his bed, now it’s time to lie in it.

You can make excuses or try and improve yourself, and this author’s brother in law chose the former and ended up alone.

You can’t make people change.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.