Her Mother Was Incredibly Rude To Her Brother’s Fiancé, So She Had To Break The News That She’s Not Invited To The Wedding
by Benjamin Cottrell
It’s natural for mothers to want to be involved in their kids’ lives, but how involved is too involved?
In this story, a mother’s attachment to her son feels threatened when his fiancé enters the picture.
As the wedding bells approach, her possessiveness sparks a firestorm of resentment and difficult conversations.
Read on to find out how it all unfolds.
AITA for telling my mom she isn’t invited to my brother’s wedding because she was extremely rude to his fiancee?
My (24F) brother, Connor (27M) and his fiancee Christine (27F) are getting married in early 2025.
They got engaged a few months ago and have recently sent out wedding invitations.
My mom is upset because she wasn’t invited.
She takes the story back to the beginning.
We met Christine after she and Connor had been dating for around 8 months. That was a few years ago.
Basically, my mom just didn’t like her.
After we met her, she’d constantly complain and criticize Christine, this would range from her looks, to her job (Christine is a waitress) and “she isn’t good enough for my son.”
I honestly don’t get any of it.
Her mother always acted weird around Christine.
Christine and I became friends, and she’s such a sweet person who wouldn’t hurt a fly.
Whenever Christine and Connor came over for dinner or an event, she wouldn’t say anything to Christine, but she’d try to get Connor to always spend time with her instead of Christine.
She always tried to one-up Christine as well.
If she called Connor and he mentioned that Christine made dinner, her dinner was always better.
If Christine had a gift for Connor, my mother always tried to say how her gift was better.
Her brother wasn’t blind to his mother’s attempts to sabotage their relationship.
Thankfully, my brother is not stupid and has realized this.
To avoid starting family drama, he didn’t condemn her loudly in front of everyone, but would always defend Christine if he heard her talking smack.
He made it clear that if she kept talking badly about Christine all the time, he would go extremely low contact.
That made her stop for a while, but since they announced their engagement, she’s back to it again. Maybe she forgot, idk.
There’s a clear pattern in her mother’s toxic behavior.
I do think it’s because Connor is her son and I know some mothers can be very clingy with their sons.
I have a boyfriend, and I’ve never heard her say a bad word about him, so I do really think it’s because Connor is her son and I am her daughter.
She works to get to the root of her mother’s complaints about Christine.
I was at my mom’s house yesterday, and my mom complained that she wasn’t invited.
She said Christine was “stealing” Connor from her.
I told her Connor getting married didn’t necessarily mean Christine was “stealing” him.
Then I asked her what exactly she didn’t like about Christine.
It all really led back to the same thing: “She’s stealing my son.”
She tries her best to reason with her.
I told her that while she can’t control how she feels, she can control her actions and that talking about Christine like that was the reason she wasn’t invited.
I tried to say it gently, but she did not take it well.
She tried to make excuses and say that it was fine and that it’s just her venting to her family and friends, and that I was being inconsiderate of her feelings.
I know how she feels about it, but I think those feelings aren’t really an excuse for talking smack behind someone’s back like that, and going out of your way to make it clear you dislike them.
She receives validation from her brother, but still can’t help but wonder if she made the right choice.
I know darn well I’m not the only person in the family who would agree with me.
I told Connor about it, and he said I was right and that she needed a reality check.
But it’s been weighing on my mind. I can’t stop thinking about it.
What do you guys think?
AITA?
Balancing the line between gentleness and candor with your family is always difficult.
What did Reddit have to say?
With such a serious breach of boundaries, maybe gentleness isn’t the right approach.
The mother needs to remember her role in her son’s life.
It sounds like there may be a bit of a victim complex at play here.
This type of mom sounds very familiar to this redditor.
Let’s hope some much-needed honesty is the first step towards finding a new normal.
This woman sounds borderline delusional.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.
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