It is often said that the roles between a parent and child switch as we age, and this story from Reddit is an example of that.

What would you do if you needed to tell the person who raised you how to behave around the child you’re now raising?

Let’s check out this story and find out what happened…

AITA for telling my mom I’d like her to wash her clothes so they don’t have 3rd hand smoke on them around my newborn?

My mom is coming to visit me and my wife after we had a baby.

I love my mom. She’s incredibly important to me. She’s been helping us out in our time of need.

Without her, we would def be in a horrible position.

He is incredibly grateful for his mom and all that she has done, but there’s an issue.

She is an all day everyday smoker in her house.

She says she’s gonna quit because she knows we don’t want it around our child. She’s smoked in the house for years, is still smoking now, says she’ll be done before she gets here.

I’ve stayed in her house multiple times over the years.

Every time I leave, I need to wash everything to get the smell out.

The smoker’s residue is everywhere, and now he’s worried about how it might impact the health of his child.

My wife was very concerned about 3rd hand smoke.

She asked me to talk with her and see if we could wash her clothes when she got here, so she isn’t holding the baby and smelling like smoke still.

This didn’t go well with my mom. She basically refused to come if we ask her to wash her clothes when she gets her.

I grew up in a house where she smoked, she is already quitting to be here.

She was incredibly offended we wanted her to also wash her clothes when she arrives.

They’ve reached a crossroads, and he wants his mom to be a part of his daughter’s life.

We are ready to cave. We don’t want her not to see her granddaughter. We love my mom very much and we want her to have a relationship with our daughter.

I just feel kinda sad. Without her we’d be in a terrible place. But we also made the decision not to have our daughter around it.

I told her I didn’t think her doing laundry was worth not seeing her grandchild.

She told me that it was offensive and she’s watched other people’s children and they didn’t care.

She grew up in a different time and even though it wasn’t right I grew up in a house where she always smoked.

I didn’t die. I even smoked for years before being with my wife.

AITA for asking her to wash her clothes when she gets here? I just feel bad. I don’t think we’re asking too much.

But we don’t want to offend her either. We want her to be here for our child. We also still need her help until we get to a better place.

I just feel stuck and sad.

A tough situation all around, it seems.

But maybe there is some good advice to be found in the comments on Reddit.

One comment suggests finding some facts and present her with inarguable information.

Another says to show some grace, as the mom is likely feeling some shame in the situation.

Nothing to be offended about here, it’s simply scientific, says another comment.

Don’t be afraid to set healthy boundaries, says this former smoker, who says the quitter might be a bit grouchy.

She might not even realize how bad the smell is, says this commenter, so the wake-up call could well be needed.

Keeping some clean clothes at the house might be a workable compromise, says this commenter.

It sounds like this family doesn’t want their relationship to go up in smoke, but there’s not much room to compromise.

It’s going to be tricky to solve.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.