She Let Her Sister And Nephew Live With Her, But Her Sister Expects Her To Pay For Everything And Babysit
by Jayne Elliott
In today’s story, an aunt has been as invested in her nephew’s life as a parent would be, but her sister keeps asking for more.
She’s not sure where to draw the line.
Let’s see how the story unfolds…
AITA for telling my sister to stop expecting me to play baby daddy?
My (29F) twin sister, Maya, has a 1-year-old son, Lucas.
A little backstory: she had a horrible pregnancy right from the first trimester and had to quit her job since she was spending too much time out of the office.
Her ex-boyfriend turned out to be a POS who claimed Maya had cheated on him and pinned the baby on him, and when my family insisted on taking a paternity test as soon as the baby was born, he agreed but went out for some milk before the due date.
Maya and Lucas moved in.
After Lucas was born, finances became too tricky with a newborn and Maya’s postpartum complications.
She asked if I could let her stay with me temporarily so she doesn’t have to pay rent and I agreed.
I have an extra room in my house (which I inherited from my grandma) so I don’t have to worry about rent either.
Long story short, it’s been tough living with a baby whose mother needs so much more help than one person can provide.
Our parents live too far to be of any help.
At first, she was happy to help her sister.
Anyway, I didn’t mind waking up half the time to give Lucas his bottle or staying with him when she needed some time to herself.
I also paid for everything baby-related. Hospital bills for both her and my nephew, food, clothes, and diapers, you name it.
But now that both Maya and my nephew are stable enough that she resumed working, she started pushing for more.
Even though she’s working, Maya still expects her sister to pay for everything.
She expected me to keep paying for everything, but I told her it’s harder now that I’m not putting in as many hours and I get paid per hour.
Still, she buys nothing and I end up paying anyway.
She also thinks it doesn’t make sense to pay for daycare when I’m home most of the day.
I ended up paying for it myself when she wouldn’t.
She drew the line at adopting Lucas.
(I think it’s important to add I refused to adopt Lucas. Everyone has always known I will adopt a child or more in the future but when Maya asked, I didn’t think she would be willing to stay in her bio son’s life as an aunt, and I don’t think the confusion would do anyone any good.)
So Monday, she asked me to take Lucas to his hospital appointment and I said no.
I told her to take a day off for that, because my job hasn’t been doing well lately as I’ve been spending too much time taking care of Lucas.
She pointed out how this is my nephew and if I adopt kids, I will need to make sacrifices too, to which I said “I will make them when the time comes but I’m not Lucas’s dad and although I’m happy to help where I can, I shouldn’t be expected to change my life for him.”
She is wondering if she was too harsh with Maya.
Maya took a day off but since the appointment, she hasn’t spoken to me except a yes/no mumble when I talk to her, and she’s been keeping Lucas in her room when he’s not at daycare.
I love the little guy with all my life, and I’m wondering if maybe I took things too far. AITA?
It seems like Maya doesn’t appreciate everything she has does for her.
Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story…
This reader thinks it’s time to set boundaries.
Here’s another vote for setting boundaries.
Another person points out all of the amazing things she has done.
This reader thinks Maya needs to sue her ex.
It sounds like Maya and her twin need to have a serious conversation about boundaries and expectations.
It’s time.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.
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