His Dad Insists He Go To Therapy To Fit In Better With Their Blended Family, But Now He Wants To Switch Therapists. So The Son Makes An Ultimatum That They Stay Put Or He’ll Quit.
by Jayne Elliott
Going to a family therapist can be very helpful in a lot of situations such as in today’s story where a son and father are going to therapy together.
The reason for the therapy is that the son isn’t blending into his blended family in the way the dad would like.
While the son doesn’t seem to mind the therapy sessions, the dad wants to switch therapists.
Let’s see how the story unfolds…
AITA for telling my dad I’ll stop talking in therapy if he changes therapists?
I’m (15m) in therapy with my dad (43). We started going back in April and it’s been okay, I guess. I got some stuff off my chest and dad did too.
We made some progress but my dad isn’t liking the progress and he doesn’t like the therapist anymore.
The reason we’re in therapy is our stepfamily. Dad doesn’t like how I handled becoming one and he doesn’t like that I’m not open to being a more TV style perfect family. Kinda like Hallmark.
He wants us to be like we’re a regular bio family and he doesn’t like that it’s different for me and that I treat his wife like a family member but not a parent or that I don’t see my step and half siblings as just siblings but I see them as steps and halfs.
And after 5 years of him being married he wanted to fix stuff.
OP lists the ways he doesn’t treat his stepmom like a real mom.
The reasons for therapy:
1) The fact I won’t invite his wife to do Mother’s Day things with me and the fact I try to get out of celebrating with her on Mother’s Day every year. I know she’s a mom. But she’s not mine. I’m a member of the dead mom’s club so for me Mother’s Day is weird but also I don’t like the idea of celebrating his wife like she’s my mom.
2) That if I’m asked to write in my parents names I’ll typically only write his. If it’s for something where it’s not about contacting someone I’ll put him and mom down.
3) I don’t go to his wife for stuff the way I will for him. I’ll spend time with her without complaining and I will help her out if she asks. But if I want a parent’s advice or whatever I go to him and never her.
4) I don’t ever just say my step and half siblings are my siblings. I’ll tell people I have step and half siblings.
5) I’m not super close to my step and half siblings. We get along fine. But he said I used to really want a sibling when I was younger and now I have them and don’t do the stuff I used to say I would.
6) I didn’t want a photo the stepfamily added to the last page of my “childhood years” book that I get when I turn 18.
The therapist told OP’s dad he can’t force things to be a certain way.
Dad said in therapy he wants and feels it’s best if I accept the stepfamily as just family and let his wife be another parent in my life. Not just a family member.
The therapist has told him that it’s okay to want things to be a certain way but he has to understand he can’t force it.
She asked me if there were any compromises I’d be willing to make.
I said I wouldn’t complain about Mother’s Day if I just joined them for breakfast and was then excused.
OP’s dad wants a different therapist.
My dad has really disliked being told he can want but can’t force something.
He pushes back on the therapist a lot with that and refuses solo sessions.
Now he told me he feels we should find a better therapist.
I don’t want that and I told him.
OP shares his conversation with his dad about switching therapists.
I said he doesn’t get to find someone who’ll just agree with everything he says.
He told me we can’t fix things with this therapist.
I told him I won’t talk anymore if he changes therapists.
He told me therapy only works if we try.
I said I know.
He told me to be less petulant about this.
AITA?
It does sound like the dad just doesn’t like the therapist because they don’t agree with him.
Let’s see how Reddit reacted…
This reader suggests a compromise…
Another reader completely agrees with OP.
This person would tell the therapist what the dad said.
Another person agrees with telling the therapist.
This reader feels sorry for OP and the situation he’s in.
He should definitely tell the therapist what his dad said.
I’d love to know the therapist’s response.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.
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