She Doesn’t Think Of Her Stepdad As Her Dad, But He Still Wants To Walk Her Down The Aisle At Her Wedding
by Jayne Elliott
In today’s story, a woman who is about to get married has a problem.
Her mom wants her stepdad to feel included in the wedding, but the bride doesn’t like her mom’s suggestion.
Let’s see how the story unfolds…
AITA for telling my mom the speech she wants me to make to my stepdad is not happening like she wants?
My dad died suddenly when I (28f) was 7.
My parents were in the middle of their divorce at the time. My mom was already dating my stepdad.
But they broke up 2 months after my dad died because he was introduced to me and I had the biggest fit ever.
It was so out of character for me that family stepped in and told mom she needed to focus on me, and my stepdad was hurt that everyone was so against them, so they broke up.
They got back together when I was 10 and married when I was 13.
She will never think of her stepdad as her dad.
By the time they got back together he decided he was going to prove that he could be a great “dad” to me and he devoted a lot of time to getting close to me, and I liked him a lot, but I never let him be my new “dad”.
This hurts him deeply. But my mom is bothered by it more.
When I was 14 she told me all the bad things my dad had done to her (while also admitting she did bad things to him) and she asked me if that was really the man I wanted to idealize and pine after instead of accepting a wonderful man who was willing to give us a second chance after the incident the first time.
I told my mom that dad could be a bad husband to her, like she was a bad wife to him. But they were still my parents and nobody could compare.
Her stepdad wants to walk her down the aisle at her wedding.
I do have a positive relationship with my stepdad. But I would not say I love him as strongly as my parents.
When I started planning my wedding earlier this year I asked him to escort my mom down the aisle and asked him if he wanted to pick a special pose for us for a photo of just the two of us.
He accepted but then asked me about walking me down the aisle and performing a dance with me.
I told him I was walking with my fiancée because she and I decided we’d like to walk together and we weren’t doing any special dances other than our first dance.
Her mom prepared a speech for her.
He scolded me like a kid for not giving him a more traditional role.
During his disappointed period he told my mom, and she told me I should make a speech to him during the wedding.
Then she handed me this one she prepared that thanked him for being an amazing dad, that I couldn’t have asked for a better second dad, and heavily, heavily leaned into the whole idea of him being my dad.
It even called him the most important man in my life.
She refused to give the speech.
I told her I could include him in the toast, but the speech was not happening like she wanted.
She told me this would make him feel way better.
I told her I won’t stand there and lie. I told her I do not see him as my dad.
She told me I should. That he deserves it. Then she told me I was being a brat.
AITA?
It’s her wedding. She should write her own speech if she wants, but she shouldn’t feel obligated to give a speech about her stepdad at all.
Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story…
This reader calls her mom the brat.
Another reader points out everything her mom and stepdad did wrong.
This person thinks the stepdad was out of line.
This reader points out who the wedding is really about.
Another reader points out the mom’s mistake.
It’s her wedding.
She gets to decide.
If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.
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