Teen Wants to Preserve Special Bond with Grandparents After Mom’s Demise, But Her Parents Pressure Her to Include Step Siblings Even Though They Don’t Consider Them Grandkids
by Diana Whelan
A teenage girl has cherished her unique connection with her maternal grandparents, who have been a source of love and support after her mother’s death.
However, her father and stepmother are pressuring her to include her step and half siblings in these special grandkid-only visits, leaving her caught between family expectations and her desire to maintain the bond.
Read on for the story…
AITA for not asking my grandparents to include my step and half siblings in grandparent-grandkid time?
I (15) have one set of grandparents in my life: My mom’s parents.
She died when I was 3 but they were the ones to babysit me for dad for the next like 4 years.
After that, he met my stepmom and I started staying home with her and my stepsiblings (13 and 12).
My grandparents would include the stepfamily in BBQs and dinner parties and stuff.
But they asked my dad to let them still have grandkid time with just me because I was the only grandkid in the house.
He and my stepmom were not super cool with it but when dad asked me if I wanted to see my grandparents without my stepsiblings and I said yes, he agreed to the time.
He told me if I ever wanted to change my mind I should speak up.
So sweet.
I have three half siblings (6, 5 and 2) now and they also come along for BBQs but not for the grandparent time.
My stepmom’s mom was the only grandparent my step and half siblings had. But she’s the biggest jerk and last year she and my stepmom stopped talking after her mom called the other kids names.
Since that happened, my dad and stepmom have felt worse about my step and half siblings wanting to be included more in my mom’s side of the family.
They really grew attached to my grandparents.
I mean, they’ve been through some trauma.
But my mom’s side don’t really consider them grandkids or family. They get included because they’re part of my stepfamily.
My dad tried to talk my grandparents into having grandkid days with all of us but my grandparents said no.
Last month my dad begged me to ask my grandparents to invite us all to grandparent time.
He said my step and half siblings have no grandparents anymore and I have two.
He said I have two really loving grandparents and they deserve it too.
How fair is that?
I told him I want to keep that time with them. They’re my connection to mom and I like being with that side without the rest of the stepfamily.
He said at my age it’s not like I get as excited as I was.
I said it makes me feel better inside when I get time with just them.
That it makes me feel so loved and eases some of the sadness that I don’t remember my mom.
He told me to ask anyway and we’d figure it out. But I didn’t ask.
I don’t think it would be what my dad or stepmom thinks because if my grandparents don’t love them it won’t be the same as what I get out of it. And I don’t want to lose the time I get with them on my own.
My dad and stepmom are mad I didn’t ask. They said I should do what they ask me as my parents. And I should think of my step and half siblings.
AITA?
Of course, she worries that blending everyone into these visits could diminish the meaningful time she shares with her grandparents.
Reddit agrees…that’s not very fair.
This person says she has the right to tell them no.
This person can’t believe how silly Dad became after remarrying.
This person says HECK. NO.
Some bonds are worth holding onto, even if it means navigating a family feud.
If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.
Categories: STORIES
Tags: · aita, father, grandkid, grandparent, grandparents, mother, picture, reddit, remarry, stepsiblings, top
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