Do children ever really fully recover from their parents getting divorced?

I’m not sure, but it definitely doesn’t help when there are constant memories of the painful moments that led to the divorce.

In today’s story, a father passes and his adult child discovers a box that includes love notes from the father to and from the affair partner that caused the parents’ divorce.

Is it wrong to destroy the notes?

Let’s find out all the details…

AITA for not giving back love notes to my late father’s AP?

My father passed in April semi-unexpectedly.

While going through his things, my mother and I found a huge box with files/papers.

Most of it was pictures or things and drawings from my childhood.

One large section of it however were love notes, etc. between my father and his affair partner, which led to my parents divorce in my childhood.

From then on it’s really been my mom and I only.

She contacted the affair partner to let her know dad was ailing.

I found out later in life that the woman who my dad was having an affair with was also married and even tried to get custody of me.

(my mother was and always has been extremely stable, and a more than fit parent).

I reached out to her to let her know my dad was passing then had passed, since I didn’t know if they talked to each other anymore.

They kept in touch seldomly besides the few months following the divorce when they were dating.

I asked her if she wanted the file of notes and things that I found and she said yes and that she wanted to meet me.

She keeps making excuses not to meet.

I agreed, and every time we planned to meet halfway (about an hour drive for each of us) she would cancel.

Now it’s been months of excuses and no answers or communication.

The last time I texted her to once again see if she wanted it she ignored it but asked how I was and I said fine.

She wants to throw away all of the notes.

Today, I finally decided since she doesn’t seem to care, and how much these material things contributed to hurting my mother and overall hurting my childhood and life, that I was going to dispose of the notes.

Now, she seems to care and wants to know why I changed my mind and what I’m doing with it/how I’m disposing of it.

AITA for throwing away my dad’s and his AP’s notes and love letters?

Those notes and papers are causing her pain.

If the other woman doesn’t want them, they need to be destroyed so that they stop causing pain.

Let’s see how Reddit responded…

She did offer to return the letters.

Here’s a suggestion of what to tell her…

This person suggests burning the letters.

Here’s another vote for burning the letters.

Here’s another suggestion of how to get rid of the letters…

The letters are causing too much pain.

They have to go!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.