The most stressful part of planning a wedding is dealing with the opinions of people who think they have a say in the wedding plans but really don’t.

The bride and groom should be the only ones calling the shots especially if they’re the ones paying for the wedding.

However, in today’s story, the mother of the groom is trying to force the bride and groom to invite someone they don’t want to invite.

Let’s see how the drama escalates…

AITA For not inviting my fiancés brother to our wedding?

My (33F) fiancé (31M) let’s call him Pat, and I are having a small 40 guest wedding this May. We are only inviting our closest family and one friend each.

Context: We gauged who we would invite based off who was able to make it to our engagement party.

We both have very large extended families and we do not want nor can we afford a large wedding.

We are paying for this wedding on our own and have no contributions from family.

At our engagement party all of our family members told us to do “whatever we wanted” for our wedding and were aware that meant a small wedding or no wedding at all.

Pat has multiple siblings.

Pat has two half brothers, two “full” brothers and one half sister.

We don’t consider them half but it is relevant to the story.

He is very close with three of those brothers and his sister.

The other brother, let’s call him Joe, is not close with Pat.

It is important to know they are half brothers – Joe is white, Pat is not.

Joe’s political beliefs and values are the opposite of Pat’s.

Joe has some very far right leaning beliefs and is very open about being a white supremacist.

This has caused obvious tension and we only see each other at large family events.

Beyond knowing that Joes beliefs are morally corrupt, Pat and I both have people of color and Black family members, as well as LGBTQ family and friends.

We also are both advocates in several different communities.

We do not align with these values and if it were up to us we would never interact with Joe.

Joe isn’t invited to the wedding.

For these reason and other more personal reasons, Joe is not invited to our wedding.

Pat let their Mother, let’s call her Mallory, know that he is not inviting Joe to the wedding.

Mallory did not take this well, stating that this will destroy the family and that if Joe is not invited she would not attend.

Pat accepted this information and asked her to let us know ASAP so we can invite others that would like to attend.

She would love to invite more of her family to the wedding.

Mallory then went to the majority of Pat’s extended family to try and get them all to shame him into inviting Joe.

Pat has been fielding calls all week from his family and is at this point exhausted and upset.

I finally had enough and sent a text to Mallory last night advising that we are not interested in discussing our guest list and to let us know as soon as possible if she or anyone else is not attending so we can invite others.

I have two step sisters and 17 aunts and uncles who are out of state who would love to attend if we had space.

She’s wondering if it’s wrong not to invite Joe to the wedding.

I won’t post the full text but I had a few friends and family members check it for me to make sure it was respectful but firm.

This is a boundary and we are not going to sway on it, but I am curious about others thoughts.

AITA for not inviting my fiancés brother to our wedding?

It’s their wedding.

They don’t have to invite anyone they don’t want to invite.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story…

Definitely don’t invite Joe.

They could uninvite Mallory too.

A self-described “lily white” person weighs in…

Everyone is on team don’t invite Joe.

It’s their wedding – they control the guest list.

Maybe it’s time to cut these people off for good.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.