Things get tricky when families split up and children have to decide between bio parents and step parents.

In today’s story, one dad explains that his kids like spending time with him much more than they like spending time with their stepdad, and that makes the stepdad super jealous.

Now, his ex-wife is asking for a big favor, and he isn’t having it!

Find out how things got complicated…

AITA for refusing to encourage my kids to take their stepdad to a father and kids BBQ?

My ex (33f) and I (32m) share two children ages 11 and 9.

We broke up 8 years ago.

She has since married her husband (39m) and since that point he has attempted to take on the role of second dad to my kids.

They do not see him in that way so far.

The kids have been fairly nice to the step-dad…

They are respectful and they listen to him as an adult in one of their homes (custody is shared so they spend an equal amount of time at both houses) but according to my ex they don’t treat their stepdad like he’s their parent or another dad.

This has been a source of tension for about 4 years now.

My ex’s husband wanted us to find a way to share father’s day even though the court order says I get father’s day and my ex gets mother’s day.

His ex’s husband doesn’t like him.

Her husband feels that he plays a significant enough role to get a piece of the day too.

I disagree.

My ex wanted to find a compromise but her husband hates being around me so us all being together wouldn’t work either.

The husband is jealous.

Why does her husband hate being around me?

He hates seeing the kids and me together. He said he feels like a nobody, like he’s an inanimate object and that he ceases to exist to the kids when I’m around.

My ex said he just wishes we could both be equal dads in the kids’ eyes but their love goes only to me.

The husband had a good reason for wanting to be a dad to his stepkids…

Last year was a particularly tense few days around Father’s Day because I had a broken leg and still did something with the kids, which my ex’s husband found selfish. He said even “damaged” I couldn’t let him be dad for a day.

My ex’s husband can’t have children. She has told me this in an attempt to get me to step aside more.

But I ignore this point.

The kids being respectful but not embracing their stepdad as their dad or a third parent is something that really bothers him and my ex.

There’s a BBQ coming up…

The stepdad’s work has a father and kids BBQ taking place in a couple of weeks.

My ex suggested the kids should take their stepdad but they didn’t want to because it’s for father’s and their kids.

She said stepdad’s and grandpa’s would still have people come with them but they didn’t want to.

They told her it would feel weird and she asked why and they said because it’s the kind of thing they’d only do with me.

His ex called him about the BBQ.

Once ex had finished with their talk she called me and told me I need to encourage them to take him.

I had no idea what she was talking about at first, she didn’t explain.

Then when she did and I asked her what the kids said I told her I wasn’t going to encourage it.

He thinks it should be about what the kids want to do.

She told me her husband deserves to experience joys during parenting and not just the work.

I told her she was making it about her husband and not the kids.

I suggested they could all go if she wanted to make it comfortable for them but she said it went against the point of the BBQ and then she called me names for refusing.

AITA?

GEEZ! That’s a tricky situation!

Why can’t the step-dad understand that he can never replace the bio-dad?!

Let’s find out what folks on Reddit think about this one.

This user thinks the step-dad is acting childish!

This user thinks the step-dad will only make things worse.

This user thinks the workplace is insane for having an event like that.

This guy thinks the step-dad has too many expectations from these kids, and that’s unreasonable.

This user knows the ex wouldn’t receive a step-mom well either!

The stepdad needs to realize his step-kids already have a dad.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.