Family relationships can get messy, especially when one person feels left out.

So, what would you do if a family member accused you of playing favorites with your grandkids?

Would you try to smooth things over to keep the peace?

Or would you agree and tell them exactly why it’s like that?

In the following story, one grandmother finds herself dealing with this exact situation and makes it clear why she treats her grandchildren differently.

Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for playing favorites with my grandkids and when confronted by my DIL telling her that is due to her

This post is about my son and Amy (my DIL).

They have been married for about ten years and have two kids, who are 10 and 6.

In the beginning, I really tried to get along with her, but she made it difficult.

She is not very sociable and always puts her own mom over seeing her husband’s side of the family.

This is really apparent with holidays and the kids.

She always chooses to go to her mom’s for holidays, even if I do it on an early day or late day.

The DIL doesn’t try to get along with her at all.

If I offer to babysit, she always tells me that she asked her mom or she would get back to me.

The times I do babysit or get to hang out with the grandkids, she is criticizing everything I do, usually saying that it’s not how her mom or how she does it.

In the beginning, my son was trying to fix this but gave up.

We see him separately from his wife and kids.

I truly don’t understand it, and I have asked if I did anything wrong, but no answer on that.

I gave up trying when my other son had kids.

It is so much better and I have a great relationship with my other DIL and the kids.

The kids are 9 (Ava my step-grandaughter) and 4 (grandson).

The current issue started over a family necklace.

I gave Ava a family necklace that was my mother’s.

She loves it and has been wearing it everywhere according to my son.

That also includes to school, which started this issue.

My DIL called me up and asked why Ava got a family necklace but her daughter (10) didn’t get one.

I told her I just wanted to give it to Ava.

She got angry and told me I was playing favorites and that her daughter is older so she should have gotten the necklace.

I told her that yes I am playing favorites and it is due to her.

I pointed out that I do not know her daughter because of her.

Never Miss a Story

Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.

That her kids will not be getting any of my family stuff because of her.

This was a huge argument and she called some a jerk and wanted me to give her kid a necklace.

AITA?

Wow! This is a tough situation for anyone to understand.

Let’s see what advice the fine folks over at Reddit have for her.

This person feels like there’s info missing.

According to this comment, the DIL just wants the heirlooms.

Here’s a great point.

As this person points out, the conversation should be about the time spent with the grandkids rather than gifts.

Sounds like it’s time for a sit-down.

There are obviously unresolved issues on both sides, so maybe a heart-to-heart can put them on the same page and resolve some negative feelings.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.