Is it unreasonable to ask a grandparent to help with childcare? What if that help is all day everyday as an alternative to daycare?

If you had a sibling who used a grandparent for free childcare, would you say something or would you mind your own business? The woman in today’s story chooses to say something, but she’s wondering if she should’ve kept her mouth shut.

Read on for the full story.

AITA for telling my brother he needs to stop using our mom as free childcare?

Our mom is 64 and took early retirement for numerous reasons, but one was to help my brother with childcare.

I respect our mother’s choice but lately she has been not complaining per-se but making comments how tired she is an stuff.

I help out when I can but she watches them for over 12 hours. She gets to their apartment at 7 and sometimes does not get home until 9.

Our mother is a doormat and people pleaser, she also feels for my brother and SIL cause they got twins.

It’s like the mom has a second career as a nanny.

I mean she loves being a grandma but like I told her she is raising them. She prepares all their meals, handles bath time, and bed time.

I get my brother and SIL have to commute and stuff. They get home dog tired but they are running mom ragged.

At least she was getting paid when she was working.

Her brother thinks she should mind her own business.

At this point I told him something has to give here.

He got defensive and said mom should be telling him this.

I told him you know mom she will come up with 1000 reasons why it is okay for someone to take advantage of her and blame herself for the inconvenience of putting her foot down. ​

My brother told me to mind my business and stop being a control freak. He doubled down if mom had an issue she would bring it up.

That is when I told him like she did with dad? The man was a POS.

She really just wants best for her mom.

Now I admit I can be a bit of a control freak when it comes to our mom, end of the day I thought early retirement was not the best of ideas but I get she was tired.

I help her with what I can and will keep on helping her for as long as I can.

I have mixed feelings cause I talk and see our mom she is tired and she does complain about how hard it is.

Is this grandparenting or parenting?

On the other hand I did speak on her behalf but in private conversations she does mention how she wants to be a grandparent and not feel like a second parent.

She feels guilty for even thinking about going on a week long vacation in May with her friends.

Maybe I could have handled it better or just supported our mom by giving her breaks.

It’s clear the brother’s living in denial, while Mom’s stuck in the “I’ll do it all” loop.

Reddit has some mixed opinions about this one.

This person understands, but ultimately it’s Mom’s choice, not OP’s.

This person votes that everyone is kind of annoying here.

But this person says NTA…brother and wife are being unreasonable and OP is just trying to help.

It’s not free childcare if you’re wearing out Grandma, bro.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.