Kids are tough. Parenting is hard.

Parenting is especially hard when the parenting duties are mixed up, and/or partially neglected, like in this story.

One woman is fed up with how messy her boyfriend’s son is, but she’s also wondering if she’s being too hard on him.

Let’s read all the details to decide.

AITA for telling my (23F) bf (28M) to get his 7 year old under control and that he doesn’t run this household?

So like the title says I told my bf to get his son under control.

I’ve had countless private conversations when it comes to his son destroying the whole house when he comes over every other week

This is how she summarized the conversations:

Me: I am tired of cleaning up your sons messes, you are not properly supervising him and I think we should downsize on toys or you need to start setting up rules and expectations and if those rules are broken then there needs to be a consequence.

Bf: you need to stop [whining] he’s only 7 and he’s autistic so he doesn’t know any better

Me: a child being autistic doesn’t exempt him from cleaning up after himself I work with children ages 4/5 and some have been autistic and when instructed to clean up they do it nicely and without issue.
When I ask your son he ignores me and continues doing what he wants due to your inability to parent him properly.

Bf: well you can tell him to clean up.

Me: I have and not only did he not listen I ended up getting a nasty message from his mom telling me not to parent her child. You do not get to shove your responsibilities onto me so you need to get your child under control or I’m no longer going to make your life convenient and I’ll move out of this house and you can live with dirty laundry, pee covered toilets, dirty dishes and no food as all the food in that house is mine that I paid for and then you’d no longer be able to avoid responsibilities

And his response?

He then proceeded to leave the room and say I’m being emotionally abusive and has not addressed anything which is what he usually does.

He likes placing blame on our 2 year old and I have documented and taken pics of how the house looks when his son isn’t there and the days his son is there and the difference is undeniable the house is basically messy nowhere to walk and unlivable.

I understand a little bit of mess because my house isn’t always perfect but to have a whole house completely destroyed in a few hours is unacceptable.

A few more details:

Every conversation I’ve had with him has been in private and not around the kid and I usually limit my contact with the kid due to how rudely he talks to me and tries to tell me the adult what to do in my house.

So AITA for demanding my bf to get his son under control?

I feel I might have too high of expectations for a 7 year old and the way I address this situation isn’t always the nicest.

I’d be frustrated at the mess too.

Let’s see what the comments on Reddit have to say.

There are plenty of reasons to GTFO of this relationship:

Some people were just confused:

Or maybe the right word is “baffled:”

Take care of yourself.

Might be time to reconsider the whole thing.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.