When is it time to finally put your foot down and say enough is enough?

That can be a tough thing to do…especially when it comes to dealing with family!

This woman had enough of her mom’s shenanigans and she finally put her foot down.

Did she go too far?

Read her story and see what you think.

AITA for not remortgaging my flat for a large amount?

“I F (41) have a flat my mum lives in.

When I was a fresh faced 18 year old (& naive) I was working a fairly good job (been working since I was 11 under the table) my mum almost lost the place grandad (RIP) got for us in the 1980’s so I (dumbly) took a loan out.

She thought she was doing the right thing.

Bought my uncle out of his half and had my mum’s shares transferred to me and had the deed/ title to the place put into my name as sole owner on the condition she manages the repayments of the new loan I took out to settle her debts and save the flat.

I was unsure but she begged me to “help her out”. I moved out at 20. I swear I don’t have “sucker “stamped on my forehead though sometimes I do wonder lols.

(Note she only pays for the loan as per our agreement, even then sometimes I have to cover it cause she “can’t afford it this week).

Looking back I wonder if she pre-planned it when someone opened up and spilled the beans of my plans.( I was in the process of buying my own place 6 hours away).

Just an FYI I am on the hook for Rates, insurance and water for the flat and have dutifully (cus I’m not a monster) been paying them for the last 23 years.

There’s a new issue.

Cut to now she is a bit elderly and needs to move to a one story as Grandad’s flat is upstairs downstairs and she can’t handle the stairs.

She rang hubby & I October 2024 & asked if we could consider remortgaging Grandad’s place and she find somewhere “cheap” and “easier for her to live” aka, a one story on the ground.

Hubby and I say we will think about it.

Operative word : CHEAP!!

They were trying to come up with a plan.

Later Hubby & I sit down together with our accountant to make a budget so we could work something out like how much we would need to remortgage to find a “cheap” place for her to live.

We come up with a number after talking to the family peeps in the industry & they give us a massively good family discount quote that is suitable and will be easy for us to manage.

Hubby & I; I ring her and say yes sure we will remortgage the flat for x amount (I’d already spoken to the bank about using the flat based on current valuation as collateral to fund it.

Figuring we will be able to rent the current place out at market value, that will manage the loan repayments & rates for Grandad’s flat and we will have more disposable income if we don’t have to pay for that place.

When the kids get older they do what they want with it.

GOOD BUSINESS, Yes??

Hubby, family and I think so.

Even my oldest kid (16) was like that’s a good plan when I get older I’ll start a rental agency with Grandad’s place & cause nanny won’t be living in her new place for ever when she goes we can rent out that place too.

As per family ideas and brainstorming. I suggested we get one of those kit set homes and a small plot of land cause the loan amount and repayments will be smaller.

The papers were ready to be signed, my hubby family has large land in the country.

They thought they had all their ducks in a row.

Builders ready kit set home sorted we found one that was super cute cabin style 2 bedroom with kitchen and small lounge area perfect for a elderly lady for about $65,000 total cost for land & kitset is at $135,000.

Add in building consent and costs for laying foundation etc 150,000-250,00 Total remortgaging cost estimate $390,00 give or take. Repayments at $550 pw over 30 years.

3 weeks later;; Ring my mum tell her the plan she told me to **** off & she wants a 3 bedroom house in the middle of town, so she can be near her cheater of a BF.

(When I was 19 he stole my credit card from me and maxed it out, I have nothing to do with him and he’s not allowed near the flat when I’m seeing my mother I am NC with that person.) and his daughter (18f) not my sister (she’s just done a stint in jail).

Say what?!?!

To top it off my mother says no any income from renting the flat will come to me (as in her) I say to her well how will we pay the loan and rate for the flat. She says “oh you & (insert hubby name here”) can manage.

Umm no no we can’t we have 5 kids and our own mortgage to pay. Our oldest is in her last year of high school and is looking at university in 2026 she wants to go into business management.

At this point if I’m going to be forced to remortgage, I’d rather remortgage it to fund my kids education. Here’s where I might be the *******.

I said to her if that’s how you feel, and you’re acting this entitled when it will be myself and hubby on the hook if anything goes wrong.

You can stay put!

We won’t do anything and you can stay in the current flat for now.

She threw a massive tantrum that would put my 4 year old to shame, saying it’s not fair,I have so much anger towards something so far in the past it’s absurd I still carry it with me.

Why won’t I forgive (insert that person) & let him back into my life. (I’m not a fool)

She claims he paid the price for his mistake when he was sentenced and convicted. I’m punishing her for a mistake that was made & I should get over it.

I told her that ever since that person came into her life & even before that .

I was placed into dangerous situations no young girl should be in (I had to buy locks for my room & the bathroom) (His friends were creepy & not respectful of boundaries).

I said to her that I would never ever put money into funding a house for him to live in, & if they were so keen to live together why can’t he put some money up instead of it being all on me.

No way!

I also said that we weren’t taking out a massive mortgage when we have almost paid the one off on the flat. (25,000)

She claims that I’m being unfair and should want to take care of her in her old age.

I shot back I’ve been taking care of you since I was 4 ,cleaning up your messes & I’m tired. I am seriously considering just selling the flat completely so I can go no contact we are currently low contact.

If I didn’t have the flat I wouldn’t have anything to do with her.

She then wailed her favourite 2 catchphrases “ what about me” & “if u do sell the flat that $$ belongs to me (her) cause she “deserves it” and I “owe her” which is how every conversation with her goes.

I think I need to stop worrying about her and concentrate on my own husband and children.

AITA?”

Reddit users shared their thoughts.

This reader had a lot to say.

Another individual said she’s NTA.

This person chimed in.

Another Reddit user spoke up.

And this reader shared their thoughts.

I think it’s time to cut her off!

Probably past time, honestly.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.