One man who built his own trades business from the ground up was blindsided when his wife dismissed it as a “hobby business” during an argument.

After years of financial strain, personal hardships, and relentless effort to keep things afloat, her words cut deep.

Now, he’s wondering—was he wrong for not letting the insult slide, or was she out of line?

Check out the details and take a side.

AITAH for refusing to let it slide after my wife said I run a “hobby business”?

I’ve been starting/running a trades business in a major city.

It’s going into its fifth year, we have 8-12 employees, have won awards and grown every year.

The conflict: I called me wife to ask her about a paperwork problem for taxes – turned out we needed the completed 2024 for something (we hadn’t yet filed).

She said it would give her a panic attack and she’d faint if I said she had to.

I found her docs on my desk in the morning, figured I would try to fit them in during the day but couldn’t.

So as I was figuring out the plan for the evening time wise (two kids, lots to do) I called and asked when she wanted me to do it.

I meant that evening, would she prefer I work late and come back at a certain time to take over for the rest?

Come home do bath and dinner and then do it?

None of the above?

This isn’t going to go well, is it?

She got very angry and said I was asking her to figure out my life for me. I tried to clarify that I wasn’t and what I meant, that I hadn’t had a chance to do it as I only had the files in the morning.

She yelled at me and told me I always had some excuse because of my “hobby business.”

I didn’t yell back I just said, “That was way over the line. Totally unnecessary and inappropriate.”

I said that I put everything into building the business to help and support our family, and I couldn’t believe how she could dismiss me and .. everything.

That it felt like she was calling me a loser and a failure.

She angrily responded that she just called it a hobby and I was entitled to think what I want but I was a “liar” for saying that she was implying a lot more than just one word.

She said she was just expressing frustration and I said, well no, you insulted me and you knew how much it would hurt. That was the point.

She didn’t argue, just said she was entitled to express her frustration and it wasn’t her job to manage my feelings about what she said.

Sure, but ouch!

Context about this: My business is in its fifth year. I won’t say it’s been easy. It’s been the hardest thing I ever did in my life.

I (38M) had a desk job and was quite successful in one sector but the low pay, heavy hours and dependency on grants and funding was heavy.

I couldn’t imagine doing it another 40 years, so I went looking for new careers.

I applied to things I was over qualified for.

I applied to things I was qualified for.

I applied to things that, you’d think, anyone could get.

Crickets.

It is hard to change careers.

Then I found the skilled trades.

I had to go back to school and get fit in one fell swoop, but I did it and toughed it out in some high production companies.

Eventually, a friend of mine at one and I decided to start our own.

We saw many problems in our industry, for employees, for clients, for owners and opportunity in the market.

It’s been a wild ride.

Everything was progress well until a fire destroyed our service trucks in year three.

In year four, my wife had a second child and experienced severe PPD which resulted in numerous hospitalizations and.. well.. rage directed at me that was highly destabilizing.

The worst happened almost a year to the day of the fires, which we hadn’t yet climbed out of.

The plot thickens.

It is March 2025 but it feels like marchvebbruary 2024 to me.

The bad year just never ended as the build up of critical business stuff that needs to address is .. haunting.

It took us six months to replace the trucks after the fire but keep running somehow, and we still were dealing with early years growth pains.

I thought the next year would be tough but stable.

It was not, it was worse.

The worst year of my life, and I’ve had some rough ones before all this.

My wife has worked for us and helped, not because it was desperately needed but because she couldn’t get another job.

It allowed her to take a year off for both our kids and stay home.

I pay 75% of expenses, and the situation places extreme stress on me as if I falter or revenue is low there is nothing else coming in.

On the other hand, she works from home and has flexible hours and both kids are in daycare full time.

When I am home late or need to work more for the money / business to survive first 5 she complains I’m not home.

When I’m home she complains about money things.

Someone’s stressed.

I’m a pretty stoic person in terms of being screamed at, but this was just beyond beyond.

I wish many things were different, but to call my work a hobby when it’s the only support for our family and important to me?

She sees no problem.

I feel pointedly degraded.

Running a business is hard enough without your own spouse belittling it.

Whether she meant it or was just lashing out, those words landed hard, and it’s no surprise he’s struggling to move past them.

Many people on Reddit vote that he is NTA.

This person says the wife is flat out mean.

But this person is on the wife’s side…and thinks there’s more to the story.

Some say she hit below the belt, others say he’s too sensitive—but either way, this one cuts deep.

They need to have a come to Jesus.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.