She didn’t want to disappear into her grief like she did after losing a parent—so she made every effort to stay social, smile through the pain, and not “bring down the vibe.”

Her friends didn’t ask how she was doing, but they did decide she wasn’t fun enough to keep around.

Read on for the story.

AITA: friends told me I was “difficult” to be around after my sibling died?

My sibling died very suddenly and traumatically 6 months ago.

It shattered my world.

A few years ago, I lost a parent during the Covid-19 pandemic and was isolated due to quarantine.

Because of that, I made a conscious effort this time to stay connected, go out, and continue friendships despite my grief.

I had a friend group I saw regularly (1–3x/week) and talked to daily.

They came to the funeral, brought flowers and snacks.

After that, I continued texting, FaceTiming, and seeing them weekly.

I never brought up my sibling’s death—we just carried on as if nothing happened.

I tried to smile through the pain.

Ouch.

Eight days after the death, one friend messaged me crying because the luxury car she wanted had been sold.

She said God must hate her.

I found it tone-deaf, but I knew she hadn’t experienced loss, so I let it go.

Still, none of them ever asked how I was doing.

By Christmas (2 months after the loss), I was barely holding it together.

They didn’t check in but invited me Boxing Day shopping.

That evening, they put on Brother Bear, a movie about sibling loss.

I felt overwhelmed but tried to own my triggers.

One friend had a photo of my sibling and started pretending to “feed” him and cover it with a blanket—what I assume was meant to be lighthearted, but it made me deeply uncomfortable.

Not quite the sympathy you were hoping for.

In February, they seemed distant.

We made plans for manicures and the mall.

One friend canceled the mall part but said we’d see each other at the salon.

After nails, I went to the mall anyway—and ran into them all shopping together.

I greeted them and got awkward hellos.

I messaged later to ask if something was wrong.

They said it was hard to be around me because I didn’t seem like I was enjoying myself.

I explained I was grieving but still valued their friendship.

They said, “This isn’t about that. We’re not talking about that.”

They told me I don’t have to smile all the time, “but it’s really difficult.”

I apologized to them.

I asked why no one ever checked in on me instead of assuming my grief was about them.

They said, “We didn’t know you needed that.”

Then they listed grievances built up since the month after the loss: I didn’t finish my food, I looked miserable, I was late a couple times, I wasn’t fun to be around.

Are you kidding?

They ended the friendship by saying, “I haven’t experienced grief, but I’ve seen it in others, and I know this is different. This isn’t about your grief—it’s about your behavior.”

I felt invalidated.

AITA?

Reddit was floored.

Grief isn’t tidy, and expecting someone to be cheerful weeks after losing a sibling is…cold, to say the least.

Most people agreed the “friends” sounded emotionally immature.

That they’re centered and not worth holding onto.

This person went through something similar and really feels for OP…unlike her “friends.”

She lost a sibling—and apparently, the rest of her friend group’s empathy along with them.

She won’t be sorry they bowed out in the long run.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.