We’ve all had one: a least favorite coworker.

But in this story, an old work foe pops up at a birthday party… and she doesn’t have anything nice to say.

Let’s blow out the candles on this debacle…

AITA for publicly telling my ex coworker that I don’t like them?

I (32f) ran into an ex-coworker Sara (31f) at a bar while I was out with friends celebrating my birthday.

We worked together for 2 years at a fast food restaurant.

I left this job in January 2025.

She was a shift lead and I’ve never liked her.

I didn’t like her management style or her personality.

Well, at least she knows where she stands on the matter.

She came up to me at the bar and we had a 10-ish minute conversation.

I thought it was cordial and polite.

She was mostly asking me questions about my new job.

Seems friendly enough for someone who’s not a friend.

She asked if I would recommend her for a job at my new company.

I got a job at a call center, nothing glamorous.

I told her that i wasn’t comfortable with that.

She brushed it off with a bad joke.

Wow, she doesn’t even got jokes?

I ended the conversation and walked to the table my friends were at and Sara follows me.

I didn’t notice until I got to the table and she sat down next to me.

My friends introduced themselves and I – without thinking – said something along the lines of, “I don’t like you, can you please leave.”

I mean, that’s definitely direct communication.

I have autism and I could tell that was not the correct thing to say.

Everyone seemed uncomfortable and Sara was visibly shocked and upset.

My friends were shocked and confused.

They assumed that Sara was a friend or someone I invited to the table.

They had zero context of who Sara is.

That kind of blunt ask would be confounding with no context.

Sara made a scene and told me that I was rude, a jerk, and a bunch of other things. She said that I embarrassed her.

She embarrassed herself by following me to my table uninvited.

And yes, she knew it was my birthday.

I do feel bad and know that I could have formulated a polite response.

But she’s a former coworker and an unpleasant one.

Yeah, nobody wants to spend their birthday with a work enemy.

I have many stories about her, but the worst examples are that she made jokes about my autism and deafness, multiple times.

She is fake nice and her friendship style is bullying people.

She has a really icky vibe.

OK, well sounds like maybe Sara deserved it?

I don’t know what Sara wanted from me.

I wasn’t going to hangout with her, especially not on my birthday.

So AITA for telling her bluntly that I don’t like her?

There’s work friends and work enemies, and you don’t want to see either of them outside of work.

What does our comment section think?

This person says, rude begets rude.

Someone else points out Sara was a bully first.

Somebody else wishes they had the guts to be so direct.

Another user suggests a gentler remark might’ve met with resistance.

And this person says Sara should learn to read… the room.

Cheers to telling it like it is.

Sometimes that’s the best policy.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.