Weddings can be stressful for lots of reasons, but one reason is dealing with difficult family members and family members who don’t get along.

But before you can figure out the seating chart, you have to figure out who you’re inviting, and that can also be tricky.

In today’s story, one woman explains how she drifted apart from her brother over the years, and now that she’s about to get married, she doesn’t want to invite him to the wedding.

Should she invite him anyway?

Let’s read the whole story to decide.

WIBTA for saying if my brother wants to attend my wedding, he can reach out to me?

I (29F) am getting married in August.

I have a younger brother (28M) with whom I used to be close, but our relationship has deteriorated in recent years, culminating in us not speaking for over two years now.

My relationship with my brother started to get rocky 7 years ago when I graduated from college.

Here’s her side of the story.

We lived together and we argued all the time: from my side, we argued about things that I found inconsiderate or disrespectful, and he usually told me I was in the wrong for feeling that way.

e.g., One weekend I was out of town and came home to find that my bed was stained + several of the snacks I paid for separately/kept in my room were missing.

My brother said he’d let a friend sleep in my room and he ate my food.

When I was angry he’d done this, he claimed I only ever got angry with him over material things and said I’m selfish.

Here’s his perspective.

On his end, he would get upset with me if I went out with my friends and didn’t include him (even if he’d previously said he didn’t like them).

And he would tell me that I was unempathetic because he had been struggling with depression and I wasn’t supportive enough (for example by not including him)).

She eventually moved out.

Things took a real turn when I decided to stop living with him 4 years ago.

I moved in with my boyfriend (now fiancé) to a different state.

My brother never finished college, and he has worked for a sum total of 3 of the past 10 years.

My parents paid his rent for 10 years and still do now.

Life kept getting better for her but worse for her brother.

My parents graciously paid in full for me to go to college, and he was offered the same fully paid for.

For a 6-month period 3 years ago, my mother wouldn’t allow my brother to re-sign the lease on his 2-bedroom apartment (only one bedroom was occupied because he could never find a roommate) and he moved into her house where she paid for his food and gave him a small allowance.

Around then, I was working hard to get promoted at my job, had just moved in with someone for the first time and was navigating starting a life in a new city.

She tried to be nice to her brother.

Almost every time I spoke with my brother he was upset with me that I was not showing enough empathy for his situation and wasn’t being supportive enough.

I apologized sincerely and tried to do better.

I would call and check in on him, and he even came to visit me in my new city once.

The visit was not great for me; I paid for everything the whole weekend (we went out to multiple dinners, etc.) and barely got a thank you.

They’ve barely talked in two years.

This wasn’t enough according to him, and after enough times of him yelling at me and berating me, and me apologizing, I just decided to stop reaching out to him.

That was 2 years ago, and we haven’t spoken since or seen each other (except for one family visit, where he rolled his eyes at me as soon as I walked in the door which set the tone for the whole visit).

My family is pressuring me to invite him to my wedding, even though we haven’t spoken and frankly, I don’t want him there, and neither does my fiance.

WIBTA if I tell them if he wants to attend my wedding, he can reach out to me?

That’s a difficult situation.

It’s too bad she’s grown apart from her brother when it sounds like they used to be close, but it also sounds like it’s her brother’s fault.

Let’s see if Reddit thinks she should invite her brother to her wedding or not.

This person calls the brother “lazy” and “jealous.”

She’s not asking too much for her brother to reach out to her.

This person agrees that her brother should reach out to her.

He may not even want to go to her wedding.

If he goes, it’ll just create drama.

Best he stay at home, family or not.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.