Planning a wedding can be really complicated, especially when the wedding guests live far away from the wedding venue.

If you were planning a wedding in a different country than where your future in-laws lived, would you check with your in-laws before setting a wedding date to make sure they were free to travel at that time, or would you pick whatever date you wanted based on your schedule?

In today’s story, one bride-to-be is considering changing her wedding date to accommodate her in-laws, but she’s not sure if that’s the right decision.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for not consulting my sister-in-law to schedule my wedding in 15 months?

AITA for not having my wedding based on my SIL’s schedule?

I (26F) am a Canadian living in Germany, with my German fiancé (27M).

We have been together for 6 years and we are planning our wedding to be in summer 2026.

My MIL & FIL are both doctors and my SIL (25F) is in med school.

My family is from a regular middle class background, we are not doctors, we don’t have fancy cars or expensive hobbies.

Here’s the background on her fiancé’s family.

My fiancé and I grew up very differently.

My SIL has never had a full-time job, she drives a luxury German car, has her [second] horse, has all the latest Apple products, and her rent completely paid for by her parents.

My in-laws are completely estranged from their families — MIL doesn’t talk to her siblings or parents, they “kicked her out of the family”.

My FIL also doesn’t talk to his mom or his brother, claiming them to be toxic.

Therefore, my fiancé has no “real” family in Germany except for his immediate family: mom, dad, sister, and by extension, the sister’s boyfriend.

She has a lot of friends who plan to travel to their wedding.

I have a big immigrant family in Canada and a lot of friends.

Our international friends have all expressed enthusiasm to travel to Canada for the wedding.

I moved to Germany to be with my partner.

My partner and I are planning the wedding over 16 months in advance to (1) save up enough to pay for it ourselves and (2) ensure that all the people important to us can come.

They’ve set a date for the wedding.

We know it is a big ask for our non-Canadian guests (mainly friends, as no family aside from the immediate were gonna be invited).

Last week, we signed a venue contract to secure our date in July 2026.

We mentioned to both our families that July was our target month as it’s a beautiful time in Canada and after the FIFA World Cup.

After signing, we made a Save-the-Date graphic and sent it to our immediate families + closest friends (max. 10 people so far).

Her in-laws are upset.

My family was thrilled, my MIL’s first response was: “Why didn’t you consult us and your sister first? That’s during her exam season.”

A few days later, my in-laws decided to cancel their stay with us (we live in different German cities) and said they are offended by our actions for not consulting them on the date and have now decided not to go to our wedding in Canada, to be in solidarity with their daughter, who may have an exam on that date.

My SIL’s exam schedule is not released until mid 2026.

Her in-laws are actually really upset.

My partner and I are paying for this wedding ourselves.

My in-laws are also threatening to “kick my fiancé out of the family” because we are “selfish.”

My in-laws will be in town next week and want to set up an “appointment” to discuss this and how the “family will move forward.”

She’s wondering if they should change the wedding date.

Are we the jerks in this?

Should we change the date because my SIL might have an exam during this time?

BTW the wedding date is on a Saturday and money is no issue to my in-laws.

My partner and I are completely financially independent from both of our parents.

This wedding is taking place 15 months in the future.

They probably should’ve run July 2026 by the in-laws before setting that date especially since they all live in Germany right now and will all have to travel to Canada for the wedding.

What kind of school has exams in July though?

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

She sounds jealous of her sister-in-law.

She should’ve asked about blackout dates before picking a wedding date.

The groom’s sister attending the wedding is important.

She must not think her in-laws are very important.

She needed to be more specific when asking about potential wedding dates.

They should probably reschedule the wedding.

It’s a small guest list to begin with.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.