New parents often talk about the phenomenon of “love at first sight” they feel with their new baby, but it doesn’t always unfold the same way.

A new dad is struggling with the disconnect he feels toward his child, even as his girlfriend’s bond seems to grow stronger.

Is he wrong for feeling this way?

Read on to find out what Redditors had to say!

AITA for saying I don’t feel anything for my daughter?

I (22M) became a dad two months ago.

My girlfriend (21F) and I didn’t plan it, but she wanted to keep the baby, so I stuck around.

I moved in, picked up more hours at work, and I’ve been helping out as much as I can.

But the journey hasn’t gone as expected.

The thing is, I don’t feel anything.

I take care of her, change diapers, feed her, stay up with her if needed, but there’s no emotional connection.

People say you just “fall in love” with your kid.

That hasn’t happened for me.

It comes easily to his girlfriend.

My girlfriend is obsessed with her.

She looks at her like she’s the best thing in the world.

I want to feel that, but I don’t.

And I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

So he decided to be honest about how he was feeling.

She asked how I was feeling the other night, and I told her the truth that I don’t feel connected.

She couldn’t have been less understanding.

She got really upset, started crying, said I was cold and maybe I’ll never love my own kid.

It’s caused simmering tension between them.

Now things are weird between us.

She barely talks to me, and I feel like the bad guy.

But I wasn’t trying to be mean.

I just thought honesty would help.

AITA?

It’s easy to be hard on yourself with such a dramatic life change.

What did Reddit have to say?

This new dad should try to cut himself some slack.

This lack of connection happens with new moms too.

Maybe other factors are contributing as well.

This user thinks men and women experience bonding with their new baby differently.

For this new dad, the path to connection may be a little bumpier, but he’ll get there one day.

Parenthood isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey

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