Have you ever tried to make plans with your entire family?

It’s next to impossible. A borderline miracle when it actually comes together.

And when it doesn’t, ho-boy, people get upset.

But the real question is, how far would you be willing to drive to have lunch with your family?

Would it make a difference if it’s to celebrate a birthday but you have work the next day?

Let’s see how one man deals with his dilemma.

AITA for cancelling my visit to my niece’s birthday the day we were due to leave?

I (mid-30s M) was supposed to visit my sister (early 30s F) and my niece for her 3rd birthday this weekend.

We live about 4.5 hours away by car (each way), and originally the plan was that my wife and I would drive down Friday night, spend Saturday and Sunday with my niece, and go to a birthday lunch on Sunday before heading home.

But then everything got messy.

However, over the last couple of weeks, my sister changed the plans a few times – including pushing things back to just Sunday lunch rather than the whole weekend.

At the time we made the plans, I thought it was a bank holiday weekend (meaning I’d have Monday off work).

I also hadn’t realised the lunch was booked for 3pm on Sunday – if I’d noticed that earlier, I would have raised concerns because it would mean getting home extremely late.

It wasn’t until the day we were supposed to leave (today) that I fully processed the lunch was 3pm, there was no extra day off, and we’d be doing 9 hours of driving just to spend a short time there – and not getting back to London until after 11pm, before a busy work week.

Now it’s time to make a tough decision.

I decided not to make the trip.

As soon as I made the decision, I messaged my sister asking her to call when she could (she was out at a safari park with her daughter, and I didn’t want to spoil their day by dumping it in a text).

When she called, I explained everything calmly.

She told me I was “annoying her” and hung up.

But it went beyond annoyance.

She has since messaged to say she’s upset with both me and my wife, and that she doesn’t think our reasons are good enough.

I feel bad about upsetting her, but I genuinely don’t think it would have been reasonable to do the drive for such little time, knowing how wrecked I’d be for work the next day.

At the same time, I understand it was a big deal to her because it’s her little girl’s birthday.

That is a long drive for a short visit, but it’s too bad he didn’t realize the error in timing earlier. Canceling same day is pretty rude.

What do the comments on Reddit make of all this?

That’s way too far to drive for lunch.

How did you not, like, check a calendar beforehand?

What are you all thinking?

Maybe you just come from a family of poor planners?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.