Relationships are built on compromise, but sometimes, it feels like one person is doing all the heavy lifting.

When one partner takes care of everything, the other can’t help but feel like their independence is slipping through their fingers.

The end result is an identity crisis that leaves both of them shaken.

Read on for the full story!

AITAH for doing everything myself then sitting there staring at my GF doing and saying nothing while she had a full on meltdown and went off on me?

My (26M) GF (26F) moved in with me two years ago, just completed two years yesterday, in fact.

We have been together a total of 4 years, and overall, the relationship has been good.

She’s usually a lovely partner, and we spend a lot of quality time together, share a lot of interests, and just in general, always get along very well.

But lately some cracks have begun to form in the relationship.

But she has this thing where she has to be independent all the time, and she’s freaking out because, get this, “there isn’t anything for her to solve.”

I make more money than she does, do the vast majority of the house chores and maintenance work, cook, and whatever else needs doing.

She has a perfectly logical excuse for this.

It’s not even like she has time for these things —she’s overworked and often late, and I work from home.

Her frustrations have been building and building.

Yes, she’s mad at me because I take care of everything too well.

We have a leak?

Gone before she even noticed.

Lightbulb stopped working?

Changed before you know it.

Have to pay the bills today?

Done before you even wake up.

Then his fixing got him into trouble again.

Yesterday, when she came home from work, we were celebrating two years living together.

I had made a special dinner, and everything was fine, until she asked me about an issue she had with the car in the morning.

She had to Uber to work that day and asked me what I thought it was.

I told her I had already fixed it and what it was.

Finally, all her culminated frustrations rose to the surface.

She looked like she was about to have a stroke —seriously, she went red with rage and just started screaming at me.

I did what I always do in these situations (it’s not a pattern with her or anything like that, this is only the second time it has happened, but I dealt with this a lot more from my family).

He underreacts.

I just sat there with a blank expression, drinking my wine as she continued to go off, waiting for her to be done and actually talk.

Then my reaction to it became an issue, and she started screaming even more.

He tried to reason with her, but she’s still angry.

Eventually, she stopped, and I asked if she was calm enough to talk.

She screamed “NO!” so I just said something along the lines of, “Ok, when you are, I’ll be waiting,” and just went about my night.

The two go their separate ways, but it’s clear nothing is resolved.

I did the dishes, cleaned up the mess I had made for our date, went to my office, and played some games until I felt sleepy enough to go to bed.

We’re working now, and she still hasn’t talked to me today.

She left as soon as she woke up — no breakfast, no “hi,” or “morning.”

She just got up, got dressed, and left.

AITAH?

Although he had good intentions, his overzealousness made her feel like more of a spectator than a participant in the household.

What did Reddit have to say?

The only way through this crisis to to sit down and communicate.

Maybe there’s a perfectly logical reason why his girlfriend is behaving this way.

Maybe he should let her solve some of the problems around the place so she can feel like she’s contributing in more tangible ways.

Maybe her blowup was a long time coming.

In any relationship, it’s an essential to find a balance that works for everyone.

It’s high time to reassess what truly matters to each of them in this relationship.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.