Trust is the foundation of any relationship.

So when one man learned of his wife’s hidden secrets, he was left questioning everything, including whether their marriage could survive such betrayals.

You’ll want to read on for this one.

AITAH for feeling betrayed after finding out my wife lied about wanting kids and hid an ex?

I (42M) am struggling and need outside perspective.

When we first got serious, I told my now-wife (39F) that I wanted kids, otherwise it is a deal-breaker.

She said she wanted kids too.

Later, after we were married, she admitted she had never really wanted children but lied because she didn’t want to lose me.

Despite his disappointment, he decided to stick with it and move on.

I chose to stay flexible and accept it — life is tough, and I convinced myself it might be better not to bring a child into a hard world.

Recently, I found out she also lied about maintaining a close relationship with an ex.

Before we married, I asked her directly — twice — if there were any past love interests still in her life.

She said no.

This turned out to all be a lie.

In reality, she had been in frequent contact with a man she used to date: exchanging good mornings, good nights, personal updates, even past trips across the country funded by him before we met.

They stayed emotionally close for years.

So when he confronted her about it, she finally admitted.

I only found out by going through her phone (which I know isn’t ideal), but the trust was already crumbling.

When I confronted her, she said she lied because she “knew I would be mad.”

For what it’s worth, I have always dealt with emotional turbulence by calmly talking things out and listening.

She had no real reason to fear my reaction — she just didn’t want to face accountability.

Now he’s left questioning everything.

Now I’m devastated.

If she hid something this big — even before and during marriage — how am I supposed to believe anything else?

I feel like our whole foundation was built on lies.

AITAH for feeling completely betrayed and questioning whether this marriage can even be saved?

This is a tough situation for anyone to be in.

What did Reddit think?

This commenter gently confirms this heartbroken man’s worst fears.

It’s clear who the villain in this story is – and it’s not him.

There’s definitely some shady behavior going on with her ex.

Maybe some problems are just too big to work through.

He’s left sorting through the wreckage of broken promises.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.