Weddings are often times when family members who don’t see each other very often come together.

With that in mind, the woman in today’s story decided to invite her dad even though she has not stayed in contact with him.

She expected him to either RSVP that he would or would not attend her wedding, but instead, it turns out her dad thinks there’s a third option.

Let’s see what her dad wants her to do.

AITA for not planning a SECOND wedding to cater to my father?

My father and I have been no contact for at least five years now.

Long story short, his wife (I refuse to call her a step mother) was terrible to me my entire childhood.

She controlled every aspect of his life and brainwashed him into thinking I was an evil malicious person.

Well from the time of no contact up until last year I had assumed he and his wife had moved back to our home state a thousand miles away.

She thought wrong.

Last year out of nowhere his wife texted me and invited me to Easter dinner.

SURPRISE!!

They still lived in the same state and town as me.

I went to that Easter dinner and figured we could start rebuilding a relationship.

She’s getting married!

Fast forward to this week.

My fiancé and I had finally settled on a date and destination for our wedding.

We are going to get married 5 hours away from where we live because that’s where most of my family and his family live now.

I had gone back and forth debating whether or not to invite my father because I figured he wouldn’t come anyway and didn’t want to deal with the disappointment.

She decided to invite him.

My sister essentially guilt tripped me into inviting him saying he would never miss my wedding, he isn’t that bad (he attended both of my other sisters weddings)

Since I already invited his whole side of the family (who all live 30 min from the wedding destination) I said screw it and extended the invite to him and his wife.

After a few days of no response his wife calls me (pf course he wouldn’t call me himself) and tells me my father will not be attending due to the fact that I invited my Gramz (his mother, who I have always had a good relationship with) and he refuses to be around her.

His wife then proceeds to give me excuse after excuse about how terribly my Gramz treated him and how it would be detrimental for him to be in the same vicinity as her.

She didn’t take the news well.

I was heartbroken.

She then told me how malicious and selfish of me it was to plan the wedding at that destination and invite my Gramz bc I was setting my father up forcing him to see her.

This now brings us to her “compromise”.

This is a pretty crazy sounding compromise.

Why don’t I plan a SECOND wedding where we live and I don’t invite my Gramz so that he can attend LOL.

Essentially I’m supposed to rearrange all of my plans and compromise to cater to my father and his needs, rather than him compromise and be around my Gramz for a few hours.

So AITA for not planning a second wedding the day before my real wedding?

Talk about crazy!

You don’t throw two weddings for yourself for the same marriage!

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This is a very good point.

It sounds like she got her hopes up that he would attend.

Here’s another suggestion.

This is what she should tell her dad.

They can’t really expect her to agree to this.

The wedding is not about them.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.