Family expectations can complicate even the happiest of occasions.

What would you do if your stepfather insisted on taking the spotlight at your wedding, even though your biological dad had always been there for you?

Would you try to split the role to spare hurt feelings?

Or would you make it clear from the start that there’s only room for one father?

In the following story, one bride-to-be finds herself in this exact situation and opts for the latter.

Here’s how it all played out.

AITA for telling my stepdad he’s not sharing father of the bride duties with my dad at my wedding?

I’m (27f) getting married in a few months, and my dad is walking me down the aisle, and we’re planning a four-person dance with me, him, my fiancé, and his dad.

As soon as my fiancé and I decided this was what we wanted, I was upfront with my stepdad about the fact that he would not be given any father of the bride duties.

I knew he’d expect and want them so I wanted to get on top of it so he and my mom couldn’t accuse me of blindsiding them/him.

He’s been with my mom since I was a few months old.

He always saw me and my brother (29) as his kids.

But we always saw Dad as our only dad.

The stepfather has a reputation for overstepping his boundaries.

There were a lot of fights that were kept from my brother and me as kids over this.

My stepdad wanted Dad to make space for him to do some of the dad things.

My dad didn’t want to give up any time or things with us that he had, since he had already lost the ability to see us all the time.

Mom always presented it like stepdad was our primary dad.

But she and Dad shared equal custody, and my dad did more than my stepdad.

He worked extra hours when we were with Mom so he could leave early and be with us after school.

He was involved in school, in extracurriculars, in our friendships, and he showed up to extracurricular events or school events even if it was mom’s time.

Which was allowed btw.

That stuff was seen as anyone could come.

Dad’s the only one who came to everything.

She knew this was going to be an issue, so she tried to get ahead of it.

My stepdad isn’t a bad guy, but his desire to be more to us than he is has caused him a lot of hurt feelings and frustration.

This is another one where I saw it coming, and I hoped getting ahead of it would help.

But he was angry at me for my decision AND for telling him.

Mom’s angry for both as well.

They said it was humiliating him to tell him so straightforwardly and to basically demote him as not the father of the bride.

I told him I never demoted him because he never was the father of the bride.

He just wanted to be.

He told me I should’ve made a bunch of different decisions.

AITA?

Eek! The situation is hard enough, but it seems like others are making it even harder.

Let’s see what the people over at Reddit have to say about it.

Here’s someone who thinks the stepdad needs therapy.

This is an interesting take on it.

As this comment says, it’s a special moment between father and daughter.

According to this person, it’s her day.

She needs to stand her ground.

It’s her wedding day, and she gets to decide who plays what role.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.