People grieve in different ways, but it’s even sadder when someone who is grieving pushes away other grieving family members.

What would you do if you were trying to decorate the grave of a family member when another family member threw your decorations away and called them trash?

Would you stand up to the family member, or would you stop going to the grave?

In today’s story, one woman is fed up with her stepmother and how she treats her when she visits her father’s grave.

Let’s see what’s going on.

AITA for refusing to care for my father’s grave after his widow treated my family and I like intruders at “her grave”?

My father died two years ago.

He raised me for 11 years alone and then married his wife “Olive”.

My mother was never in the picture, she took off as soon as I was born.

Olive was a widow with three teenagers from her first husband.

Things changed when her dad got sick.

At first we got along well. I didn’t have any complaints.

It was only when my dad became ill that she started to show her true colors.

She didn’t want me to be too involved with dad’s care but would ask me to help her by doing her errands for her.

It was incredibly difficult.

She just wanted to spend time with her dad.

I was very close to my father and not seeing him often enough was awful.

I tried my best.

My kids wanted to see him too but Olive wasn’t okay with this.

When my father died Olive made it very clear we were not welcome at “her grave”.

It gets worse.

It started with her questioning why I was stopping by.

Then her saying we couldn’t go xyz days.

Then it was taking off drawings my kids made for the grave and discarding them within a day or two. She’d put random drawings her grandkids did instead.

And she complained that my kids drawings were trash being left on the grave.

She told me she didn’t want trash on her grave and she made it very clear she would be the only other person buried there.

She made a decision.

So my family and I stopped going.

I told my husband it wasn’t fair to the kids.

That it upset them to see old drawings of Olive’s grandkids left on the grave but none of theirs.

Even little grave ornaments we purchased were discarded.

Anything with dad and grandpa was too.

The circumstances have changed.

Now Olive is battling some ill health and cannot make it to the grave.

Her kids never liked my dad and won’t help her take care of it so she asked me to do it for her.

I refused and pointed out her behavior.

While this might sound petty, I know she’ll only go back to her old ways once she’s able to care for it herself again.

And I don’t want to be messed around or let her mess my kids around.

AITA?

Olive sounds like a really horrible person, either that or she’s battling grief in a really bad way and needs therapy to learn how to be nice to the people around her instead of pushing them away.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

Going to the cemetery isn’t the only way to honor her dad.

Here’s another vote for remembering her dad outside of the cemetery.

This person calls Olive “terrible.”

Another person calls her a “pushover.”

She has just as much right to be there as her stepmom.

Who could think otherwise?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.