When you’re raising multiple kids, it can be difficult to keep that all-important equality between them.

After all, kids are all different – with different needs, different preferences, different behaviors.

So it’s no wonder that special days like birthdays, when one kid is naturally in the spotlight, can be a bit of a hotspot for problems.

For the woman in this story, bringing up her children to be thoughtful individuals is of prime importance.

But when her husband suddenly acts in a way that contradicts her careful standards for her children, she snaps in a manner that neither of them expected.

Read on to find out how their relationship was affected.

AITA for not letting my husband relight my daughter’s birthday candles for my 3-year-old to blow out?

I am a 32-year-old mom of two.

I have seen and read plenty of stories where spoiled kids have blown out other kids’ candles, or thrown a fit when they’re not allowed to.

My husband, who is 35, apparently has not.

Let’s see where the drama really started here.

Friday was my daughter’s 10th birthday.

On the day of our kids’ birthdays, I always make them the food of their choice and a small cake.

The party is usually at a later date.

After we ate we got my daughter’s cake ready, my 3-year-old son was very excited.

I had explained to him all throughout the day that it was sister’s birthday not his, so he had to wait for the cake.

We lit the candles, sang happy birthday and she blew out the candles.

But what happened next was totally unexpected.

This might be where I might have been in the wrong.

My husband grabbed the lighter and tried to relight them, “so the baby can blow them out too”.

I said “No. It’s our daughter’s birthday, and I refuse to allow my son to be one of those spoiled kids that cant understand its not their day.”

Read on to find out how her husband responded.

His face fell immediately.

He said he was just trying to help and keep the baby happy.

We dropped it there, but he was kind of quiet the rest of the night.

I didn’t mean to come off harsh, I just didn’t want my daughter to feel like she had to share her day, or that it wasn’t all about her.

AITA?

It seems like both parents had their hearts in the right place, they just weren’t on the same page when it came to the practicalities of the birthday.

A little communication here – rather than snappiness from her or impulsivity from him – would smooth everything out for sure.

Let’s see what Reddit had to say about this.

This person agreed that by making the birthday actually about the birthday girl, the mom was totally right.

While this woman spoke from experience about the importance of boundaries when it comes to kids’ birthdays.

And others explained how the mom’s standards will help both kids in the long run.

To the dad it might seem like a small thing, but the mom was right to say no here.

She might not have been right to snap, but she was right to stand up for her little girl’s moment.

Good momma award.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.