Being compared to other people can be uncomfortable.

But in this case, it reached another level, since a woman’s neighbor has been comparing her to her deceased daughter and acting like she’s her replacement.

She told her to back off in no uncertain terms, and is now wondering if she was too harsh.

Let’s analyze the situation.

AITA for telling my neighbor i am not her replacement daughter ?

I (20, F) have a neighbor who lost her daughter in an accident 4 years ago now.

I have lived next to her most of my life, and we used to be relatively close.

These guys have a history of crossing boundaries and just being weird.

After the funeral, she kept making remarks about how similar I was to her daughter, and her husband had to jump in at one point and say that I’m not her and my own amazing person.

It is noticeably off-putting.

She kept on trying to invite me over to hang out with her in the backyard every summer too.

In August 2024, this neighbor was drunk in her garage, and I was talking to her when she called me her replacement kid.

I didn’t say anything cause, what the hell are you even supposed to say in that situation?

Things got weirder and weirder.

Then she started acting like my mother in the same summer when I was living alone, always asking me where I was going and who I was going with, whenever I left the house.

She tried to stop her, to no avail.

I told her nicely to stop, and that she was not my parent.

She did stop for a while.

Then she started saying I was like a daughter to her, and was always trying to hug me every time I saw her and that made me really uncomfortable.

Things were getting serious.

At Christmas time, I get a long text from her basically trauma dumping about how her other daughter is in the hospital and how her cat has an ear infection.

She attached a very graphic photo of a severely bruised stomach.

I did not want to see any of that, I did not want to be the person she keeps using as an emotional crutch.

She ignored her request to stop, so she decided to make things clear.

She refuses to get help to get over the death of her daughter and keeps trying to use it as a therapist.

I told her this over text:

“I am very sorry that you’ve had a rough month, but that last message was such an inappropriate thing to be texting me.”

“You should not be trauma dumping on your 19-year-old neighbor. I am not your therapist or your family.”

She did not beat around the bush.

“I certainly did not want to see that photo of what I assume is your daughter’s bruised stomach, and I’m certain she doesn’t appreciate you telling people her private business.”

“Lastly, I need to make this clear, I am not your kid. There is no “our beautiful girl”.”

“I am not your daughter, and it has been making me and my parents so uncomfortable every time you’ve said that.”

She left no room for interpretation.

“I am not your replacement [her daughter’s name], no matter how much you want me to be.”

“The fact that you actually said that to me one night was insane. Wishing you a better new year.”

Her neighbor did not take it well.

Then I heard nothing back from her until yesterday.

Well, she decided it was a good idea to flip me off and stare me down as I was getting in my car with my friend.

We were confused but left it alone, cause whatever, but when we came home, she started yelling “douchbaggggg” at me.

She also yelled at me about how I would never be like her dead daughter and how much better than me she was.

Despite her neighbor’s unhinged behavior, she wonders if she’s in the wrong.

Should I have called the cops for harassment? Should I just ignore her?

She’s obviously very hurt that I kicked out the emotional crutch she had been using me as.

I do feel bad for her, but I will not allow her to keep using me as a therapist and making me uncomfortable.

AITA?

It’s quite narcissistic to impose this role on someone you’re not even related to.

And she has a daughter!

Let’s see what Reddit has to say about this.

A reader shares their thoughts.

Yup.

Someone mentions a few important points to consider.

Exactly.

Another reader chimes in.

This commenter offers more advice.

This has already gotten out of hand.

She should make sure everyone knows what’s going on, including her neighbor’s family.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.