There’s no question about the fact that messy divorces can leave children feeling completely adrift.

What once seemed like a cohesive and unbreakable family unit is now left in tatters, and sometimes it can seem like they’re the ones left to pick up the pieces.

And for the man in this story, his unfortunate childhood was compounded by neglectful grandparents, rejection from his father, and a dangerous adopted brother.

Only his mother was there to love and support him through everything.

So when his father asks his adult son to effectively side with the people who turned his mother away, it’s no wonder that he reacted badly.

Read on to discover the whole, chaotic story.

AITA for not wanting a relationship with my mom’s family after they cut her out and chose my dad’s side in the divorce?

I (24, male) have a complicated family situation stemming from my parents’ divorce when I was ten.

Three years before the divorce, my parents adopted my brother (now 22) from Russia.

After bringing him home, he began to exhibit severe behavioral issues – attacking me, stealing, breaking things, screaming, and lying.

He ended up getting diagnosed with several conditions including fetal alcohol syndrome and reactive attachment disorder.

Let’s see how these conditions affected the family.

The main issue was that these behaviors were only ever witnessed by my mom and I.

My dad worked nights and slept days, so he wasn’t around much.

My brother was incredibly manipulative and of course acted like an angel whenever my dad or others were around, while back home things had got so bad that mom and I had to lock our doors at night because we feared he might attack us in our sleep (which my dad dismissed as an overreaction).

When my mom tried talking to her family about these issues and how they were affecting things at home, they accused her of exaggerating and making things up to make my dad look bad.

Even when I tried backing up my mom’s stories, I was dismissed as not understanding cause I was “just a kid”.

And this situation just kept getting worse.

After the divorce, my mom’s family completely cut her out while continuing to include my dad in all family events.

My mom won full custody of me, and my dad got my brother.

I had little to no contact with my dad and zero contact with that side of my family for five years.

It didn’t take long after the divorce for my dad and everyone else to see the reality of who my brother was, however, the damage had already been done.

My dad did eventually apologize years down the road to my mom and I.

When I started seeing my dad again in high school, I was reintroduced to mom’s family, but these interactions were always uncomfortable especially being there with my dad.

Read on to find out how the family dynamics changed over the years.

To this day my mom’s family have never once brought this situation up or apologized.

I don’t know if that’s because of shame or if they think it just never happened as long as no one talks about it.

My grandparents did slightly reconnect with my mom after her breast cancer diagnosis back in 2021, but her siblings have still never reached out.

Just last week, my mom’s uncle (my grandma’s brother) passed away, and when she reached out about funeral details, they completely ignored her.

However, my dad and his new wife continue to be fully included – my grandparents even attended their wedding two years ago.

And now they are trying to manipulate him once more.

Recently, my dad has been pressuring me more and more to have a closer relationship with my mom’s family, giving lectures about the importance of family and guilt-tripping me for not prioritizing them.

I feel like I’d be betraying my mom by having a relationship with them while they continue to keep her in the dark but fully embrace my dad and his new wife.

AITA?

Let’s be clear: this isn’t a one-off moment or misunderstanding that has the man feeling this way.

Instead, it’s a decades-long pattern of neglectful, coercive and downright unpleasant behavior from his mom’s family.

It’s no wonder he wants nothing to do with them, and as an adult his decision should be respected.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

This person called out the dad’s hypocrisy.

Meanwhile this person offered support from a place of experience in a similar situation.

And others had very strong opinions towards the father and grandparents’ choices.

It’s no wonder that this man has decided to cut out his grandparents once and for all – after all, that’s exactly what they did to his mother.

To suddenly have no family support whilst in the difficult situation of a divorce must have been awful, but to see them side with her husband?

She’s lucky to have her son on her side, and his loyalty will mean everything.

They’re better than those awful people.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.